Reply to My husband thinks his "soulmate" is somewhere out there

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]On the kids thing, a man who would consider moving abroad and never seeing his kids, with sending home child support being enough, isn't someone who's going to hurt his children by leaving. He's someone who is already hurting his children because of how checked out he already is. It sounds like he's introduced a tremendous amount of instability into their lives with all of his comings and goings, and you've been complicit in that by allowing him to keep coming back. If you really want to do right by your kids, I would divorce him so you can ensure that whatever he does, your children will always have one stable, dependable home to come to.[/quote]

OP...you need to listen to this if you never listen to anyone else in your life.  It is your job to protect your kids.  What are you doing????
[/quote]

OP here.  I wholeheartedly agree.  I know this is huge.

----[b]When all my kids were born my DH would get up in the night to rock them back to sleep and sing to them.  He would walk them up and down the sidewalk in front of our house to soothe them.  He always had a smile and a kind word for them.  He played with them all the time and took them on adventures to see trains and connect with nature.  He took them to baseball games, drew pictures with them, read them countless stories.  He wore them on his back while mowing the lawn.  Went to all their concerts, baseball games, teacher conferences, took off days of work to go to doctors appointments (I have a special needs son).  He would write out detailed lists of how we could do this or that to better their lives.  He was very invested for 9 years up until the last year or so.  He still does a lot of things for them but is very tired and depressed.  Our kids LOVE him. There is more to consider than the horrible way he has behaved in the last year.[/b]  [/quote]

Responding to you and particularly this is exhausting, so I will keep it short.

My father is hands down a narcissist and most likely a psychopath.  He was exactly like this when we were little, which is why the fall was so traumatizing.

This is TYPICAL of these people.  When they have an adoring audience they shine. they live on this shit.  When that audience gets older, more independent and starts to question them (instead of looking to them like they are a God) they lose interest.

NO FATHER WHO TRULY LOVES HIS CHILDREN HAD FANTASIES OF MOVING OVERSEAS. He is/was that kind of father because he had the audience he craves….just like he now craves the audience of a new "soulmate" who has not yet figured out that he's a sack of shit.

BTW, my mother was just like you….living in denial until the affairs became too much to ignore with it culminating in him introducing his AP to us kids. She would get defensive just like you when people would attempt to speak the raw truth. She had a huge part on the distraction my father leveled on our family.  A responsible mother protects her children and does not show their boys and girls that it is OK to stay in this kind of horrible relationship.[/quote]

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