Reply to how old does your daughter have to be to wear a bikini?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Oh, FFS. There is nothing sexual about a 7-year-old girl's body no matter what she is wearing (or not wearing) unless she's being viewed by a pedophile, in which case it STILL doesn't matter what she is or isn't wearing.

I was sexually abused by my stepfather starting at the age of 6.5. Had he seen me in a 2 piece bathing suit? Yes. So had my father, uncles, male cousins,grandfathers, step-grandfathers, older stepbrothers, & male friends of the family, most of whom were alone with me on numerous occasions, as well.Yet none of these other men/older boys sexually abused me.Because they weren't pedophiles.

My sister was 18 months older than me & also wore a 2 piece bathing suit in front of our stepfather multiple times each summer. We looked exactly alike except she was a bit taller, tanned a bit more than I did & was slender while I was downright scrawny. If one of us looked more "attractive" in a bikini as a young girl, it was definitely her. Yet our stepfather never sexually abused her. This was almost certainly not because he looked at us in our (often identical) bikinis & thought my prepubescent body looked  "sexier" than her prepubescent body but because, due to various factors completely unrelated to our bodies or swimwear choices, I was easier to "groom" & less likely to tell anyone about the abuse.

I could've danced in front of  most of the adult/teenaged males in my life naked at 7 & they would have still never had sex with me or touched me in an inappropriate manner. Because they weren't pedophiles. I could've worn nothing but long sleeve shirts & pants or skirts that didn't show so much as my ankle & swam in a full body, baggy wetsuit in front of my stepfather &he still would've molested & raped me. Because he was a pedophile.

Oh, & FWIW, I saw absolutely no correlation whatsoever between when or if my various friends/ female cousins wore bikinis & the age at which they became sexually active.[/quote]

+1billion on this post!

I'm sorry for everything you've been through. I'm also so glad that you appear to recognize that what happened was in no way your fault, regardless of what you did or did not wear in front of your stepfather. Thanks to how traumatic what happened to you surely was in & of itself, much less coupled with living in a society that seems to, sadly, be full of victim blaming, however, I'm guessing it took you a while to get to where you are now :( You are a very strong woman.[/quote]

Thank you for your kind words.

It did take many, many years to get to where I am now in regards to my stepmother's abuse (& my mother's facilitation of said abuse & decision to stay with my stepfather despite irrefutable proof that he was abusing me, which was/is probably even more painful but that's a whole other topic...) but I vowed to comes to terms with what happened --as best I could; one never truly "gets over" something like that -- before starting my own family because I didn't want what happened to me to because me to be overly paranoid as a mother & project my own issues onto my children. I still have some PTSD symptoms but they are comparatively minor & manageable now & I no longer view all males who dare to so much as look at a child as potential pedophiles.Lots of quality therapy helped, as did several extremely supportive family members & close friends &, most of all, my amazingly supportive, patient & understanding DH & my desire to create a healthy environment with two stable parents for our (then future) children. Life dealt me a very difficult hand in many ways but also an amazingly wonderful one in others. Overall, I consider myself to be very lucky.[/quote]

Great posts. Tragic posts. 6.5? Raped? I often can't fathom how it's possible. I mean from both a psychological standpoint and a physical one. How can vaginal intercourse even be possible at that age? Obviously only with severe pain and emotional trauma and rape. So sad.[/quote]

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