Reply to Indian Parenting

Forum Index » Infants, Toddlers, & Preschoolers

Reply to "Indian Parenting"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We re white upper middle class Americans whose families had less. We did chores, went to church, worked jobs in high school and studied like mad to go to college/med/law/grad school. We really value working hard, especially academically. Our kids are average (below average in their top DC private schools). They work hard in school and are assisted by tutors but just are not wired like we are. Grades in top schools are gentleman Cs, bad test scores, but fit in fine in school and social life.

My question is this. How do Asians and South Asians deal with this kind of situation?  Surely not EVERY child has the ability and tenacity to do his 'job' (great test scores, grades) well.

And before you reply 'have him join the military, go to community college, become a hairdresser" remember that the children were raised as upper middle class children, with travel and all of the comforts of our class. They would not do these 'lesser' career paths and still want to work hard, become educated, etc.

It would be great if you could give your experiences. [/quote]

What specifically are you asking? What to do if a child  has a learning disability? Of the child is just too lazy to study? If the latter - [b]clamp down on social life and raise the bar on academic expectations[/b]. If you're paying for tutors and DC is only getting "gentleman's Cs", there is some serious bullshit going on. [/quote]

I would also take away privileges until grades are up.   I don't know if your kids are just average intelligence or not, and if they are, I don't know how much the tutoring would help with the grades.

But, I do think that the some of the younger generation are too comfortable with their lives; they don't need to strive for anything because they have pretty much everything they want/need.  You worked hard because you had to.  Your kids don't work that hard because they don't have to.

I struggle with a bit of this myself with my kids.  I grew up lower/middle class, too.  Worked my through college and started at the bottom.  We make good money now, and my kids have *way* more than I ever did growing up.  At times, I'm happy that they have the things I didn't, but other times, when they seem ungrateful, it boils my blood.  The one thing I have done from when they were young is set the expectations that they will try their hardest in everything they do, especially school.  So far, no issues, but I can guarantee that if I see them slacking off, all privileges go away.

We have also said to them that we want them to go to college because that is the best way to get a good paying job to support yourself well.  If they choose not to go, that's fine, but then they will need to learn a trade or do something to support themselves and live the lifestyle that they can afford.  We are not going to support them past a certain age.  We'll help pay for college and help them get on their feet a little, but that's it.  At some point, they have to stand on their own two feet.  I don't want a "failure to launch" situation.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics