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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]As a bi married man, let me provide my perspective.  I am monogamous and have no desire to have sex with men or women other than my wife.  And my wife knew about my history when we met.

It is incredibly scary for a man to find out he is turned on by other guys.  Girls Gone Wild kissing each other and men think its great, two guys kiss and everyone thinks it's disgusting.  When it happened to me early 20's, and I had never thought that I was gay or bi before that, it was terrifying.  I had to rethink, who am I? what is my attraction?  how will my life be?

For these men who are married and realize they are gay, they have gone through an enormous amount of internal torture.  They are ashamed, disappointed, and feel they will be rejected by everyone they have ever known.  They hurt for their spouse, whom they have obviously loved and worry about if they will ever be close to their children.

I understand posters saying the husband should man up, take responsibility, etc. but unless you have walked in the shoes of someone confused about their sexuality, please don't pass judgment too hastily.
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Thank you for your perspective; however, just because a man has fears of rejection and is internally tortured doesn't give him the right to deceive a woman and cause her internal torture and rejection.  If  a closeted man truly loved their spouse they would be open from the start, tell her the truth, and give the woman the free will choice to be in the relationship or end it.[/quote]

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