Reply to Getting seperated...what is fair?

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[quote=Anonymous]OP here.  It isn't really about him getting angry with me...at this point what he thinks about CAN'T matter and doesn't.  I admit to some fear that he would be low enough to use our kids as pawns in this game (fight for joint custody to be spiteful or pay less etc).  While I don't see how anyone would say joint physical custody would be in their best interest, he does have me trumped in the ability to get a good lawyer department.  I don't want my kids to have to go through a nasty fight in order to end up at his house half the time (undoubtably planted in front of computers and I-pads, feeding themselves junk meals, and staying up until midnight while STBX does what he wants to do).  I also don't want to condemn my kids to poverty by allowing myself to get totally screwed.  It isn't that I don't understand or appreciate the points everyone has made.  I am just concerned that by getting into a battle could cost more than money.  My kids are better off struggling a few years with me than under his control even part of the time.   Maybe a better idea is for me to consult my own lawyer before going to the collaborative one.  That way I would have an idea going in if it is totally bogus or not.  If what they tell me seems totally off, I won't just roll over.   I think the deals that previous posters have mentioned sound reasonable, and would accept something along the lines of: splitting the house, not asking for alimony in leiu of him taking all debt,  more child support, and a half the retirement for the years we were married.  His terms, as they stand now, are a deal breaker.[/quote]

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