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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I recently started seeing this guy and things are going pretty good so far.
Except one thing kinda bothers me. He has a six year old son that he had with and former girlfriend that now lives with her parents and is in the process of being formally adopted by them.

Shortly after his birth, both him and his former GF signed away their parental rights to the child.
The GF because she was in prison and the guy I am seeing because he says he wasn't in a good place financially and didn't think he could be a good father and provide for his son. I get a hunch that he didn't want to pay child support for eighteen years.

My problem is that I have a six year old son and I cannot even imagine absolving my parental rights no matter what. If I had to peddle apples on the street corner, I would.
I like this guy, but this really bothers me that he could do something like this.
Is this a deal breaker?[/quote]

OK, I'm going to be contrary.

First, I don't think it's fair to compare your child with his.  Was your child planned for and expected?  Was his?  What I'm trying to say is[b] suppose his ex GF accidentally-on-purpose got prego in a way to "trap" him [/b](which is unthinkable, yeah, but we're talking a jailbird here) or something.  His feelings about the child are probably very much different than yours.

Second, he came clean and told you the truth about something he likely knew you'd have some issue with.  If he were a real scumbag trying to get out of something, would he have bothered?

Third, at the time it sounded like he was handed a bunch of bad choices and he had to make the least-crappy one that worked best for the kid.  The *easy* thing would have been to abort the baby, and they didn't go that route.  I gotta hand them all credit for that.

Main thing you have to decide is if you're subconsciously looking for a way out of this relationship and thinking this could be an excuse.

No one here knows the guy or the situation like you do.  But as for me and what I've heard so far, I'm inclined to give the guy the benefit of the doubt.[/quote]

Lord almighty I detest this line of thinking, as if pregnancy can happy by a vengeful slut on her own. TWO people have sex. TWO people take the equal risk of pregnancy. And at 26, he should own up to it.[/quote]

So it's totally outside the realm of possibility that some unstable woman (and given that she's in prison, I'd say there's instability there) would lie about being on birth control so as to trap her baby daddy into a more formal relationship?

Man, this forum is so eager to damn someone they don't even know.  Welcome to the Internet, I guess.
[/quote]

What does that have to do with anything?  As a father you have the responsibility to parent your child, regardless of whether you wanted them to be born.  The child didn't lie or trap the father, and the child is the one entitled to a father.  [/quote]

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