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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Hi. OP here.

From my point of view, it went well.  But I think that's mainly because I got what I wanted -- out of FIL having alone time with our son.  He asked about it and I said "Look, FIL, to be very honest, I'm uncomfortable having SON go stay with you after the comments you made about 'your house, your rules'  and spanking.  We just don't do that and we don't want anyone ELSE to do it.  So, I think we should hold off on any visits."

He grumbled a bit about kids being soft, it's not like he was going to whip him with a belt, etc.  And then pointed out several times throughout the weekend when our son misbehaved and said "a quick swat would have fixed that a lot faster!"  That made me really angry, but I sucked it up because my husband was already freaked out about us telling his dad no.

What sealed the deal, though, was the blatant racism -- asian drivers suck, lots of black people in dc, comments on our jewish neighbor, etc.  I don't know how many times the words "we don't talk like that in front of our children" came out of my mouth, but it was a lot.  So, one more problem to add to the list.  I get that my kids will hear that out in the world one day, but holy hell they don't need to hear it from a grandfather and his wife.

BTW, if any of you saw the "SMIL claps for my baby" thread on general parenting, that was FIL's wife.

So, anyone wanna adopt some grandparents?  I don't really want them anymore.  :-)[/quote]

Thanks for taking the time to update, OP.

Your FIL is quite the piece of work. Pro-hitting- kids, pro-patriarchy, and a racist as well? You're way more generous and kind-spirited than I'll ever be, just for tolerating his presence under your roof.

At this point, if it were my son we were talking about, I would not allow even supervised visits. Racist talk is going to plant evil seeds in a yong, impressionable mind. Or, at the very least, your child could repeat what his grandpa said even without really comprehend it, as little kids are wont to do. That would make things very awkward for your whole family and reflect poorly on you and your DH as parents.[/quote]

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