Reply to Has Anyone Else Decided To Have Just One Child?

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Reply to "Has Anyone Else Decided To Have Just One Child?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I was at lunch this week with coworkers.  Our friend of ours has an only grown daughter who has breast cancer.  One of my coworkers actually said that it's too bad our friend has one child because if the child dies she will have no children.  If you have two at least you'd have one left.  I was so shocked I didn't know what to say. 
BTW. I have an only also. [/quote]

What a terrible thing to say![/quote]

I don't know if it's so terrible. As a parent of an only, it's something I think about. Nobody wants to lose a child, but if something were to happen to mine, I'd no longer be a mother. It's a fact that if you have two kids, and one passes away, you'd still be a parent. Being a parent is my one and only important thing right now, so having that taken away would be devastating in a different way to losing one of two children. Please don't jump on me as I'm in no way saying it's not devastating to lose a child no matter how many you have. That is a given. But, depending on how it was said, I don't think it's the worst thing to discuss. Now, believe me, I know some tactless people who would barf out those words with ignorance or actual malicious intent. But if the coworker was trying to be a caring shoulder to cry on, maybe that's ok. [/quote]

I think about this too. How would I keep going? People with more than one would at least have a reason to keep going.  I think my best friend — who has three — was horrified when I told her I felt this way, as if I were implying that she wouldn't mind losing one because she has so many. That's not it at all. But there is a gulf between a mother with a living child/children and a mother with no living child.

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