Reply to What if your child, who was qualified for their "reach" or "stretch" school, chose not to apply?

Forum Index » College and University Discussion

Reply to "What if your child, who was qualified for their "reach" or "stretch" school, chose not to apply?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

[/quote]

Princeton grad here.  I thought the comment was ridiculous and I am not insecure.  Some of my classmates had great parents; some had terrible parents.  Some got there in spite of their parents. Some got there because they started life on third base (just because you're the DC of a wealthy alum doesn't mean you are the product of great parents). The fallacy is in making this the measure of parenting.  Most of us set out to raise children who are healthy, happy and productive.  If you've ever had a child who struggled with any of these three characteristics, you would understand why they are the most important. Even with these as a yardstick, I don't think you can make any one thing the measure of great parenting.  Some kids are just wired with challenges, some have health challenges, it isn't an even playing field.  [b]But lets say your goal is to get your child into HYP and you succeed.  Are you a good parent? [/b]I don't think so because you've focused on a ridiculous goal.  And if your goal was to raise a child who is healthy, happy and productive and you succeed and they happen to get into HYP, are you a good parent?  Probably, but not because they got into HYP.

Its like saying if your child becomes a movie star, this is indicative of you being a good parent.  It is possible to be the good parent of a movie star, there are certainly examples.  There are also many, many examples of child stars with horrible parents.  One has nothing to do with the other.[/quote]

Another thanks for another thoughtful post. I think you're right about this: most parents want to raise kids who are healthy, happy and productive. These are laudable goals for any parent.

I think a distinction needs to be made between "your kid goes to HYP = good parenting" and "your goal is to get your kid into HYP."  The first is an outcome (maybe from good parenting, maybe not) and the second is a parental goal.

I think we're focused on the first, "your kid goes to HYP = good parenting" which, admittedly, is an overly broad statement about an outcome. If your kid does end up at HYP, that's an outcome that could be related to good parenting (you succeeded in raising a kid who was happy, productive and motivated). Or maybe not, and your happened to have a kid is hard-wired to succeed, or a kid who was born on third base (legacy, ability to afford tutors and coaches).  I do think that some of the qualities that get a kid into HYP, especially work ethic, are to some degree a function of parenting. I'm not talking about helicoptering, rather the type of parenting that encourages kids to always do their best and teaches them to find joy in learning.

Signed, Ivy grad with kid now in a different Ivy[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics