Reply to What if your child, who was qualified for their "reach" or "stretch" school, chose not to apply?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It's amazing to me how invested people are in this idea that they take it so personally.  [/quote]

I agree, some of this is pretty shocking.[/quote]

To me I watch the people relentlessly bashing Ivies and Ivy grads, and I think: they are invested in something pretty sad. Probably invested in proving their own self-work, in proving that the non-Ivy label doesn't define them. [/quote]

Admittedly I haven't re-read the whole thread, but I don't recall anyone bashing the Ivies or Ivy grads-- just recognizing that HYP might not be the best match for every kid.  Do you really think that's bashing? (and then there's the debate about whether your kid getting into HYP proves you did a good job parenting, which also doesn't seem like bashing the schools or the kids).  (FWIW, under those standards I am a "basher" and I went to an Ivy)[/quote]

The notion that your kid getting into HYP says anything about one's parenting is patently ridiculous. Would you also argue that any kid who achieved anything notable must have had the benefit of good parenting? By that standard, Lindsay Lohan, Michael Jackson, Jennifer Capriati, and Gypsy Rose Lee had good parenting, as did many children of proverbial Tiger Moms.[/quote]

When did Lindsay Lohan, Michael Jackson and the others go to ivies, Straw Man ?[/quote]

I don't think straw men are what you think they are, Toto.

Someone said going to an Ivy was a sign that the person had good parenting. Someone else said that achievement in and of itself was not evidence that one had good parenting, and listed a few notable high achievers (albeit in other arenas) who are famous for having been poorly parented. You may find the comparison false or inadequate but that doesn't make it a straw man.

Now, if someone replied to the person above, "so you're saying that people who don't get into ivies are poorly parented!?" [i]that[/i] would be a straw man.[/quote]

Are you suggesting that there can be just ONE straw man argument to a point? And that the argument must be in direct opposition to what was said?

SMH.

On another note (because the ridiculous illogical arguments I see on this board are insane. And the fact that the people try to sound intelligent making the arguments... :shock: )

1. I don't think the person making the comment about ivy attendance being an indicator of good parenting is the parent of an ivy leaguer. I don't even think the person is an ivy leaguer. There's nothing to suggest this except my spidey senses. I think it was an innocuous--albeit true--statement that was taken out of context.

2. I think people on this board are overly competitive, sensitive and insecure about not being an ivy grad. That's the reason so many are jumping all over that comment which, in reality, has little to do with the real topic. It became it's own beast when insecure people started 'feeling some type of way' because they're not ivy grads and didn't send their kids to ivy. That comment was just one more reminder to them that neither they nor their snowflakes will ever be seen as good as an ivy grad. Hence all the emotional counter-arguments that make absolutely no sense whatsoever.

[/quote]

Princeton grad here.  I thought the comment was ridiculous and I am not insecure.  Some of my classmates had great parents; some had terrible parents.  Some got there in spite of their parents. Some got there because they started life on third base (just because you're the DC of a wealthy alum doesn't mean you are the product of great parents). The fallacy is in making this the measure of parenting.  Most of us set out to raise children who are healthy, happy and productive.  If you've ever had a child who struggled with any of these three characteristics, you would understand why they are the most important. Even with these as a yardstick, I don't think you can make any one thing the measure of great parenting.  Some kids are just wired with challenges, some have health challenges, it isn't an even playing field.  But lets say your goal is to get your child into HYP and you succeed.  Are you a good parent? I don't think so because you've focused on a ridiculous goal.  And if your goal was to raise a child who is healthy, happy and productive and you succeed and they happen to get into HYP, are you a good parent?  Probably, but not because they got into HYP.

Its like saying if your child becomes a movie star, this is indicative of you being a good parent.  It is possible to be the good parent of a movie star, there are certainly examples.  There are also many, many examples of child stars with horrible parents.  One has nothing to do with the other.[/quote]

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