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[quote=Anonymous]I'm not sure I agree that this DH lied.  He never said he wanted two and maybe he did consider...but came out on the side of no.

I'm divorced with two kids, btw.  Both of my kids were wanted and planned, but our marriage was not rock solid like it should have been.  For some women, the desire and instinct to be a mother is something that cannot be explained.  It is inherent in their being.  Not trying to be dramatic, but I could not express to a man my maternal instincts.  It is just one of the many factors that sets us apart.  My ex wanted to be a father, but I don't think for a second that he had the same internal pull that I had at the first thought of getting pregnant.  It's just different for some women and not everyone will understand.

I have one story, for what it's worth.  Good friend married, they waited several years to have a child.  She had one, with some complications after birth (nothing permanent, but dicey for a while).  They were early-mid 30s.  She started wanting another about 2 years later.  He said no and this went on for a while.  She winds up pregnant (not confirmed, but wouldn't be surprised if it was accidentally on purpose).  Fast forward a bit -- DH was cheating.  Not sure if the pregnancy of the affair was first.  He goes back and forth from the marriage, winds up with the GF, she gets pregnant, they get married and oh look, happy 2nd family.  My friend is divorced with two kids (one he did not want).  He has a 3rd kid and is remarried.

It was weird that he didn't want another child...but well, there was clearly a reason.  He was not happy in the marriage.  Look at your relationship and if you can't fathom there is a problem (on your DH's part -- affair, you, his age), then get some counseling to see if you can find a way to discuss the issues.  Resentment on this issue will just be another wedge in your marriage on top of the communication issues.[/quote]

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