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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What was rigid about the schedule? 4-7 with MIL at my house and 7-8am with FIL/wife at their house?[/quote]

Here's what you said-

[i]I drafted an extensive child care document, pre-made meals, pre-packed bags, hired a mother's helper, and gave lots of instructions to make it as easy as possible. FIL said "piece of cake!" They were only to be sleeping (7pm-8am and they go to sleep by 7:30) by FIL - MIL would have them after school and feed them and get them into pjs and drop them off at 7pm. Their carpool would pick them up for school at 8am and they would drop baby off with the nanny at my house on the way to school[/i]

Now, I'm just trying to picture what happened, so there's a lot of supposition going on here, ok?  Your ILs are working full time and haven't had little ones around in a long, long time.  One toddler, two others not fully potty trained.  You drafted a very specific list of instructions, including Meal A on Day A, Meal B on Day B (I'm guessing) all in bags, etc.  So the ILs probably felt compelled to get the right meals matched with the days without making a mistake.  It sounds like a rigid bed time, a rigid wake up routine, they've got the helper dropping in, car pool at 8am, running home to beat the kids, etc.

I'm not saying you did anything wrong.  Honestly.  I'm just saying that it is possible that your routine is much more structured than what they are used to.  And by leaving such detailed instructions, including all the meal planning, may have made it more complicated than it needed to be.  Your ILs may have been more comfortable trying to fit the kids into THEIR schedules, rather than living their life around the kids.  Rather than making sure the kids got their pre-determined meal of the day, it would be much simpler to let the ILs cook a couple frozen pizzas and call it a day.  Does that make sense?

And the "once in a lifetime" snark just meant that there's NFW the ILs will volunteer to do it again, that's all.

I appreciate your efforts to smooth this over.  But your DH's impulse to fight with them over this indicates more going on than your kids shitting all over their carpet.     [/quote]

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