Reply to WWYD - DH's Ex-Mistress Sent Him "I Miss You" Email

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Reply to "WWYD - DH's Ex-Mistress Sent Him "I Miss You" Email"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I get it now. Cheating IS the nuclear bomb!!

The DH cheating negates everything that the DW may have done or not done to create a negative marriage environment.  And thus, the DH should do whatever it takes to get back in her good graces, even if the same fucked up dynamic remains!

Geez, if someone cheats, the marriage is broken. Rebuilding trust is NOT the only answer!  Both spouses have to put in the work to fix it - ground up!  
[/quote]

Can't the same be said for the DW? This is very one-sided.[/quote]

I am OP. Agreed that one-sided transparency is not the only answer. If you read my post, you'd know that we've both been working hard to address our issues that contributed to the affair. Relationships, especially old ones, are complex. Dynamics can become toxic and old patterns of communication, old injuries, can get in the way of a healthy physical and emotional relationship. In allowing those patterns to continue for so long, we were both at fault. But he was the only one who cheated. For five years he led a double life and lied to everyone who mattered to him. I didn't make him do that - he bears that responsibility alone. Rebuilding trust to me means that we will honor and meet each other's needs, whatever they are. Transparency is an important step toward rebuilding trust. That shouldn't be so hard to understand.[/quote]

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