Reply to "My child is so mature and so independant for her age..."

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Reply to ""My child is so mature and so independant for her age...""

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]UGH! If I have to pander to the moms who make this brag one more time I am going to scream "SHUT UP YOU IDIOT!"

Why?

Because when I hear this I instantly think "uninvolved parent" NOT that they are the greatest mom ever.

Growing up I was that kid and it sucked! My mom was completely uninvolved and any kid I knew who was like me had the same.  That's why the kid is so mature - they have to figure out how to take care of them self because basically the parent has checked out.

As a parent now, I tend to steer my kid away from these "mature" kids because I know better. When I was kid, there were parents who I could sense didn't want me around their kids and now I get it.  I was making decisions for myself that kids shouldn't be making (most of the time they were the right ones but not always because how the hell does one expect a 12 yr old to have the judgment of an adult) and I knew things way beyond my years that just weren't appropriate for kids to know about or need to know about.  I also don't want my kid playing at these houses because I know the supervision will be nill as the parent believes their 7 yr old is mature and can make great choices for themselves all the time!

I know, I know, there will be parents who claim to be the exception but you are not.  A little kid does not get "so mature" and "so independent" with an actual parent being involved in parenting because if there was an involved parent  there is no need for the little kid to become a miniature adult.  
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This is a bit late but I still want to reply. I think you're "sticking to the rules," too much and trying to set a general rule for every case. There are still cases where children are mature for their age without being forced to be a child. My main instance is myself: as a child my parents gave a fairly good balance between freedom and being protective. At the age of 4 my favorite thing to do was build things with tinkertoys and watch spongbob. I was very immature about some things, such as being responsible, doing homework, etc... which hasn't changed too much, but about other things it was pretty funky. Like at the age of 6 I became obsessed with religion and trying to see if God existed or not. I would present forms of arguments to my parents and friends. In 2nd grade I became with the notion of death wondering why it was a must in this world. I remember in 2nd grade and seeing a couple holding hands and my thought was word for word this, "look at us in 2nd grade and already worried about relationships. We have so much more life ahead of us." In kindergarten I was taken to day care a time or two. The last time I was taken everyone was watching telletubbies. I didn't care for watching telletubbies and just laid down in the back of the room thinking. At one point everyone started skipping around the room laughing, and when the teacher probed me to join in all I could wonder was why in the world the other kids were so damn shallow and baby like. Don't they see how silly teletubbies is? So in some ways I was mature, but in others I was out there. Like social interactions. It took me an enormously long time to develop so as to understand what was socially acceptable and what wasn't, and even now I'm still out there, just not as clueless. I'll admit I'm a bit of an exception. For instance, in high school I'm taking 21 credit hours in college and love to skip around campus, dodge cracks in the sidewalk, while wearing a pink and purple beanie. Still, I hope this serves as a case to point out that all children won't behave the same in the same circumstances. Many very well be mature with very good parents.

I'm not very concerned about your belief of what causes mature children or not, but in general I think you're trying to set a standard rule and that just can't be the case. My reason for writing this is just to point out that the world isn't black and white, yet you seem like someone who would prefer it to be so just like many other parents. So many parents want to draw a line for every issue and topic when reality is more fuzzy than that. Lines are merely human convenience since it helps us operate and keeps things less confusing.  [/quote]

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