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[quote=Anonymous]Put up the baby gate yourself, pronto.
Get rid of the playpen. A two year old should not be in a playpen.
Draw up a list of activities outside of the house: library story hour, playground, etc. Insist on a weekly schedule of activities and naps that your DH and DS will stick to.
TV is off all day except for 30 minutes.

This is not "nagging." This is insisting that your child's daily caregiver actually do things that are age appropriate with the child. You presumably would not allow a daycare to plop your child in a cage and have the TV and video games on all day. You would never pay someone for that kind of care. Therefore you should not accept it from your DH. You are working and contributing money for food, rent, etc. Your DH needs to step up and do childcare work if that his is job. Insisting on this is not nagging if you sit him down and talk about it seriously and make it clear you are acting out of sincere concern for your child.

Let everything else (clutter, etc) go.

Other things you say (the my laundry / his laundry thing, etc) and your fear of his defensiveness make me think you have problems in your marriage as well. I know it's hard to make time as a family, but if you have any access to any counseling services for the two of you it might be helpful. 
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