Reply to Husband plans going to a strip club but telling me he isn't

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[quote=Anonymous]UPDATE, OP here

I talked to my husband last night.  It wasn't a fight.  It was pretty much the exact same discussion we had before except with him trying to convince me that the texts didn't mean he was going to go to the club with them.  And yes, he admitted to lying about the strip clubs not being mentioned because he "didn't want to have THIS conversation with me" and so I "wouldn't worry" and wouldn't think he was "planning a weekend with a strip club included" or "compromise the whole weekend".  Here's what the texts I read said:  (BTW he was only slightly miffed that I snooped in his texts because he has done the same to me and we pretty much have each other's permission to because there should be nothing to hide.  He had deleted parts of the conversation but not before I read it- oops).

Friend: How's the bach party plans coming?
Husband:Sort of stalled on plans think (Groom) just wants something localish to DC need to call him and firm it up...he was thinking outdoorsy drunk fest in west va? 
Friend:Yea man, set up a cabin or something and we'll get fd up and gamble.
Husband:Yup....he (groom) also mentioned the choice selection of clubs over there...clothesless lady clubs
Friend:Perfect.
Husband:Gotta keep those clubs on the way way down low bro!

So, I question him, of course.  To me, it sounded like it's in the plan, they are all in, just don't let my wife find out.  I told him I know these guys and know for a fact that strip club going to come up.  So, why lie to protect them? I don't care if they go, I care if HE goes. Plus, it's less suspicious to me to know it was brought up and even if it's part of the plans because I KNOW these guys would bring it up.  Just as long as I know he is still not participating, especially behind my back!  And he is the one that mentioned it in the text (he says the other guy brought it up previously that they can't have a bach party for groom w/o one...) So, I also want to know why the camping has to be in a location where the groom mentioned clubs? Apparently the groom mentioned the clubs in reference to his 40th bday party (which I also heard him talking about) and not in reference to bach party plans.  So, no, the texts don't prove he was going to go.  He assured me just as he had before that he has no interest and if those guys go he won't and doesn't want to see anybody naked except for me, etc, etc. I mentioned again that I know they will give him a hard time for not going and try to talk him into it and that even though I still do NOT like it, if he is contemplating going just to appease them then PLEASE at least tell me.  He said he would do that. 
 
I do want him to go have a good time.  These are friends he has had since middle school, they all live across the country but still keep in touch.  (They are all 40ish btw). And most get togethers include the wives and fiances and we all get along great.  The timing just stinks for us with the baby and I am the one stuck home without his help but it's okay because he isn't normally just one to skip out whenever he can. He knows that and knows my issue is just with him going to the strip club and more importantly him being honest with me.  I DO get why in his mind it was better just to keep the whole topic from me but it's just stupid because like I said, I KNEW it would come up so that makes it all the more suspicious.

I feel better after talking to him.  I still question his intentions and think that he was actually including it in the plans by the texts.  But, I just have to let it go and trust him to be honest with me and hopefully be respectful and simply sit that part out.  It's not too much to ask and he feels the same way I do about it being disrespectful and also does not want me to be around a bunch of hot, naked, dancing men.  I told him he can use me for an excuse to his buddies all he wants, I don't care.  Those guys know me and know that I am not a bitch or anything.  Chances are the groom won't care if they don't go because he can go to them whenever he wants.  I just REALLY hope my husband respects my wishes and sticks to what he said but I especially want him to be honest and not do it behind my back.  We shall see.
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