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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]As others have said before me, ADHD is overdiagnosed and underdiagnosed. Many people rush to a pediatrician and beg for help for very real problems a child is having in school and, in the absence of a better form of treatment, not having any way to enforce parenting changes or a behavioral plan, pediatricians often prescribe medication. This happens all over the country. However, it is not the ideal way to have ADHD diagnosed and not the way many do it. Everyone I know in my middle to upper middle class circle of friends and acquaintances gets very thorough, and very expensive, evaluations such as neuropsych exams. This is a much more accurate way to diagnose.

For those of you who don't think it is real... I don't know what to say. My husband and I are highly organized people who were both very successful in school and have been successful in our careers. We have three boys, only one of whom has severe ADHD. The other two are totally fine. My child with ADHD is in third grade and, though he has the combined diagnosis, is not hyperactive the way people may imagine. He fidgets and slouches and wiggles but he doesn't get up or move around or bug people. He does not get in trouble, ever. I would say his activity level is totally average--of course, ADHD has absolutely nothing to do with being an "active boy" so this isn't surprising information. He gets excellent grades ... at least at this point... and does advanced academics. However, it is unbelievably hard for him to regulate his attention. In school, he needs every set of instructions repeated or he misses 100%. If he is reading a book, you have to tap his shoulder or shout at him to get his attention--he doesn't hear you otherwise. If he is playing a sport, one-on-one, he is very skilled, while on a team he is totally helpless. He can have a great conversation with one child or one adult but if there are more people in the room, or noises, or other distractions, he can barely answer a simple question. I am probably not giving an accurate sense of the extent to which he can not shift his attention or process more than one thing at once. The effects of his ADHD on his development, especially social, and on his self-esteem have been major and affect him constantly on a daily basis.

I am not a perfect parent, not by a long shot. I will say that I am above average in my efforts. I go to parenting classes. I read books on ADHD and executive function and difficult children. I go to therapy and of course take my child to all his therapies. I run a highly structured household and am very strict about our schedule. I have changed my house around and switched careers all to address my child's very significant needs. I try hard to be consistent and patient, though I fail more than I would like. Do I look like a great parent to others?? Probably not because, I have to tell you, it is extremely hard to be that with some of these kids. I have neurotypical kids, too, who have their moments like all kids but they learn eventually... even easily, they're flexible, they grow in predictable ways. I think people have no idea how much more effort it can take to teach a child with ADHD.

Anyway, I am not looking for pity, but the suggestion that it isn't real is just so bizarre to me. I wish it weren't real.

Oh and, by the way, my child is not medicated for the ADHD. We do not medicate for medical reasons. I have always been a healthy, organic mom and, before I had kids, figured I would do anything to try to avoid medication in this situation. But now, well, we do all the difficult stuff and we are getting by, successful in some ways even, but life is still really really hard for my kid. We all work incredibly hard and it is barely enough and my child is only in third grade.[/quote]

I like you.  I really appreciate your perspective.  [/quote]

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