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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Not sure what thread people are reading, but this discussion has been almost entirely about how the spouse with less interest should be more accommodating.  [/quote]

That could well be a function of the fact that [b]the low drive spouse has the most direct control over the sex life.[/b] The entire period the high drive spouse wants sex but isn't having it is, in effect, an accommodation.

That's fine. Both sides should be accommodating. But, the fact is, the low drive spouse is in a position to ignore the accommodation of the high drive spouse and pretend like s/he isn't giving anything up by not having sex.[/quote]

This is not always the case.  Let's say I want sex once a month and my partner wants it every other day.  If we compromise at once a week, he is controlling the situation just as much as I am.  [/quote]

Correct.  But your example is also the normal, rational thinking side of this issue.  Unfortunately, some posters are not really thinking rationally about it.  But when it comes down to choosing whether or not to compromise, the low libido spouse holds the control.  Well unless high libido spouse resorts to raping I suppose.  But if low libido refuses to compromise at all, they do have the most control.   If high libido refuses to compromise, well they are just being stupid since that means nothing changes.  [/quote]

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