Reply to My husband destroyed my cell phone and I called the police

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, ignore the crazies on this forum, who are saying things were your fault or you should have known better, or whatever. You don't need to be filling your headspace with that right now.

Talk with your therapist and with a good friend or two. Make plans to separate, at the very least. Look into your options with a lawyer (financial, custodial, etc.).  Those are the concrete steps you can do to feel more in control right now. You are going to be ok. You are going to get through this and things will be so much better.

Good luck.[/quote]

No, things are not going to get better. At best, she is going to be a single mother with two small kinds and unhinged ex, worrying about their and her safety (much more so than before) and fighting court battles for considerable time.[/quote]

So the answer is to stay in a semi abusive relationship and model that behavior for her children?  And years down the line she'll wonder why her kids have messed up relationships.  [/quote]

Exactly, you are so right. My mom made the choice to stay in an exact same relationship, living in a country and time where the police would laugh at her if she calls them for her husband threatening her, or breaking doors, or hitting her once or twice. My dad never straight out beaten us to bleeding. But when he got in one of his moods, it was so scary, it was more the emotional abuse of seeing someone that has no control over their reaction than what he actually did to us physically. And both me and my brother have messed up relationships. Actually my brother is straight messed up, I just have messed up relationships. Also, my parents were educated and smart. You would think that smart people would see what is happening and resolve situations like this but I think this was stronger than them, I think my dad has just some kind of mental disorder that comes out only when he is under severe stress. The rest of the time he was the best dad in the world, and I never doubted he loved me. All of my friends think that my mom and dad are the best parents in the world, so cool, so contemporary, loving, etc. Only me , my brother and my mom know the truth. And maybe a few neighbors that have heard him yelling but I don't know that for sure.[/quote]

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