Reply to What is a fair contribution from Fiance living in my house?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think in a cohabiting relationship household bills should be split proportional to income, not 50/50. So if Partner A makes 70% of the HH income, they should pay 70% of the mortgage, etc.  But in a marriage everything is combined anyway, so isn't it a moot point?

I think you could look at the childcare expenses as seperate from this, though-- those should be split between OP and the father. It would certainly be the good and decent thing for OP's fiance to support his future stepkids, but I wouldn't say it's strictly an obligation.[/quote]

OP..This is the first time I have ever posted anywhere and didn't know I was supposed to put OP when I responded. He said to work more hours or get a second job to bring my income up. I was a stay at home mom until the separation, I chose to not have cable or a cell phone or fancy anything because it meant more to me to spend time with my children and I still feel they benefited greatly from it. My daughter skipped a grade because I taught her to read at 4, she recently received The State Academic Achievement Award, only 13 given out a year. So after being told that I wasn't sure if he had a point, if I need more money, work more. Feel like everything gets twisted to where I am wrong or not seeing it because I am in it. That is why I wanted outside feedback. [/quote]

OP, I've posted several times on this thread. You need to talk to a therapist. I spoke with a therapist who really helped me to clarify what I was not getting out of my marriage. You are right when you say that it feels like everything gets twisted to where you're wrong.

I think it's possible that your boyfriend had some good advice about how you need to make more money. It's possible that he does not want a wife who stays at home with the kids and does not value that. I personally think that given the way your marriage ended, you should be going out of your way to become financially able to support yourself and your children without assistance from anyone else. Even depending on alimony from your ex would bother me greatly. I would not want to have financial dependence preventing me from doing something I wanted to do (i.e. get married)

You have every reason to be proud of your children. Please stand up for yourself and give them a reason to be proud of YOU.[/quote]

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