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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I grew up atheist, and we never said grace before meal, but I can see where someone who has said it every time before they eat would want to say it no matter where they are eating, especially when they are older and set in their ways.  My MIL and FIL are catholic and say this at their house before meals, and I politely bow my head (and grit my teeth), but luckily they don't do this at our house.  I can see where it would be irksome, but I say live and let live, it is a small thing really, it just takes 20 seconds and it's not hurting anybody.  [/quote]

Absolutely right on! If this poster can live and let live, then so can OP. Because, OP, is this really the battle where you intend to make your big stand? Is this worth driving off the in-laws over? Not worth it. By lettiing the in-laws say grace when they come, you model tolerance and understanding for your kids. Unless the in-laws are shoving it down your throats by insisting you and the kids say it along with them every time, I don't see the harm. Turning this into a fight only shows your kids a my-way-or-the-highway attitude; is that what you want to model?

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I couldn't have said it better.[/quote]

There is no religious edicting requiring people to say grace before meals - unlike those edicts prohibiting consumption of pork, alcohol, etc. for some groups. If the ILs were really interested in fulfilling what they see as their religious need to say grace, they would be fine praying siliently.  However, that's not what they're doing.  They want everyone to participate - so what this boils down to is control.  Who has control in OP's house?  OP isn't refusing to allow her ILs to pray, she's just asserting and maintaining boundaries in her own home.

I don't see tolerance and respect being modeled here, what I see being modeled is that OP's beliefs/traditions are subordinate to her ILs in her own home.  Having dealt with boundary issues in my own family and in my ILs, that's not something I'm willing to let be modeled for my kids.  Just because you have a guest in your home doesn't mean the guest is always right or has to be accomodated.[/quote]

I completely agree, and I think part of the problem here is that many posters see this as a "one time" thing that OP has to deal with.  If OP is an atheist (as she's stated), she deals with this every. damn. day.  [/quote]

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