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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]But is MIL really trying to rub DIL's nose in her religiousness? That sounds a little far fetched to me. [/quote]

Quoting from OP:

[quote]When we visit my MIL's house, we politely bow our heads and pray at meals because, well, it's her house, her rules. Doesn't matter that we don't believe/practice. I do, however, get exceedingly tweaked when she comes to OUR house and starts a group prayer before meals. She knows we aren't religious, she does it on purpose to make a point (she's also peeved we haven't baptized our kid). [/quote]

[/quote]

Ok, but two things: 1) OP has no obligation to bow her head and pretend to pray just because she's a guest. It would be equally polite to sit quietly, head up, and wait until grace was over to eat. 2) OP says MIL does it on purpose but that's attribution. We don't really know MIL's intentions.

Several PP's have suggested ways to get around feeling forced into saying grace in your own home but I think this thread has failed to realize that no one is actually being forced into prayer here. I think it would help to remember that bowing your head does not mean you are praying and holding hands with some one while she prays doesn't mean you're praying either. Only God knows whether you're praying in any given moment. Whatever motions you may or may not go along with in others' company is irrelevant. You're free to abstain from the motions of others and you're free to not actively pray - whether you're a guest in some one else's home or hosting grace-saying ILs. [/quote]

But what I think you're failing to realize is that those of us who are not religious, particularly those of us who are atheist, are bombarded 24/7 with religious messages in this society, as pluralistic as it is.  Which is fine, we choose to live here, happily, but it is a relief to have a home where we need not bite our tongues.  This is not to say that we atheists should have air horns at the fingertip to drown out any signs of prayer in our homes, but it's not "nothing" to have prayer passive-aggressively inserted into what should be one of the few places where we don't have to deal with it.  Our comfort is no more disposable than yours.  So I think it's worth finding a solution that respects both parties, rather than assuming that the atheist can just suck it up.  Again.  Some more.[/quote]

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