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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]PP here -- I forgot to add that it's a good idea to stress to your child that this is a religious ceremony and that his/her friend has worked very hard to prepare for this event.  Tell your son that the ceremony is pretty long and that kids will get up to go out in the hall or to the bathroom throughout the ceremony.  As you can imagine, this can become disruptive; our rule was "you can get up once, quietly, then come back and don't go out again."  Some rabbis actually come talk to the kids before the ceremony begins to reinforce these messages.  I love this -- it certainly put the fear of God into our church-going children.:)
   [/quote] OP here, thanks for your response, it is very helpful!   My son and the boy are not super close, they used to be when they were younger.  Now they play on a sporting team together but other than that dont see or talk to each other.  But they still consider themselves friends so my son is looking forward to attending.

I'd love to hear more about the ceremony, what exactly will happen. Also, what type of prepping has gone into this?  Several people have mentioned that the boy has worked very hard leading up to this ceremony.

Oh and thanks for the info about the kids getting up and going to the bathroom, I'll make sure I tell my son this.[/quote]

I'm Jewish, here's some of how it'll go and what's gone into it: 
The child has probably been in hebrew school since around 1st or 2nd grade. For my kids, it was 2 hours every Sunday morning and then beginning in 2nd grade twice a week, from 4-6:30 until they graduate from Hebrew School (around 8th grade). Part of being able to graduate from Hebrew School is attending Shabbot services on Friday nights. I think they needed 25 credits per school year. In our family, we make Hebrew High School optional (it's also after public school, and in addition to rather than instead of.) About 4-6 months before the Bat Mitzvah the child starts meeting with a cantor for an hour each week. They learn all the prayers they'll have to lead at the Friday night Shabbot service as well as the ones they'll have to lead at the Saturday morning service. Plus the haf-torah which is the portion of the torah they'll read from. My favorite prayers are the ones said right before opening the ark (where the torahs are kept) that involve the congregation responding in prayer - it's a little back and forth that seems cool to me. Taking the torah out of the ark and reading from it is a VERY big deal. It's a HUGE honor to be invited up to the beama (stage) to read from the torah (it's called an aleah).  The child also has to prepare a speech - in our temple it's about the torah portion they read (so they can't just know how to read Hebrew, but also how to translate into English and comprehend what was written), what this rite of passage into adulthood means to them, and then the Oscar acceptance speech, where they thank whoever they want to thank. :)  The Saturday morning service at our temple when a child is being bar or bat mitzvah'd lasts about an hour and a half.

In our family/friends circle, at the reception the kids also prepare something for the cake-lighting ceremony. My kids did rap songs which they wrote themselves. That's more fun than hard, but it's still prep time. My daughter's bat mitzvah had 172 people. Can you imagine how long it took to write all those thank you notes?! :)

Anyway, hopefully that gives you an idea of what goes into the day. [/quote]

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