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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]PP here -- I forgot to add that it's a good idea to stress to your child that this is a religious ceremony and that his/her friend has worked very hard to prepare for this event.  Tell your son that the ceremony is pretty long and that kids will get up to go out in the hall or to the bathroom throughout the ceremony.  As you can imagine, this can become disruptive; our rule was "you can get up once, quietly, then come back and don't go out again."  Some rabbis actually come talk to the kids before the ceremony begins to reinforce these messages.  I love this -- it certainly put the fear of God into our church-going children.:)
   [/quote] OP here, thanks for your response, it is very helpful!   My son and the boy are not super close, they used to be when they were younger.  Now they play on a sporting team together but other than that dont see or talk to each other.  But they still consider themselves friends so my son is looking forward to attending.

I'd love to hear more about the ceremony, what exactly will happen. Also, what type of prepping has gone into this?  Several people have mentioned that the boy has worked very hard leading up to this ceremony.

Oh and thanks for the info about the kids getting up and going to the bathroom, I'll make sure I tell my son this.[/quote]

Shabbat morning services have 3 parts but they all flow together.  There is morning service, the Torah service, and afternoon service.  The most important part for the bar mitzvah is the torah service.  This is the first time that the young man will be allowed to read from the torah.  The torah is in hebrew but without any vowels.  It is chanted in what is called [i]trope[/i].  Learning trope takes months.  You just have to learn the inflections, the pauses, the ups and the downs of the chat.  Since there are not hints in the torah scroll, you really can't "read" it.  Then the bar mitzvah will present his d'var torah.  This is his interpretation of what is important about the passage he has just chanted.  And then it's over.  The reason it's such a big deal is that now the bar/bat mitzvah is considered an adult in the community and they now have the right (and hopefully the ability) to lead the congregation in prayer on shabbat and they count in a minyan--a quorum for prayer.

About going to the bathroom--the congregation will stand when the arc is open.  The arc is where the torah is kept.  When the congregation stands as a sign of respect for the torah, it is not time to turn your back and exit for the bathroom.  Bathroom breaks occur when every one is sitting down but not during the rabbi's sermon either.  From start to finish is about 3-3.5 hrs.  But the morning service is about 30 min so if you show up for the torah service, that's fine and you are not considered late.[/quote]

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