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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]So OP - are you convinced?  Or are you like my MIL who insists that she's right on everything even if everyone around her disagrees?[/quote]

DH and I are still hurt. If everyone is saying though, that this is proper then it must be so. For us, to give $1500 is a lot. Also please keep in mind that [b]we are spending a lot more than that on passports, outfits, our other child, flights, hotels, etc[/b]. This is not simply pulling out the dress I wear to each local wedding and spending one weekend day attending festivities. [/quote]

Everyone attending the wedding, including the bride's parents who are also paying for the wedding, are also incurring this expense.  It's not unique to you (I'm the PP who spent nearly $6K on my brother's wedding).

I am sorry you're hurt, but please for everyone's sake including the good of the long-term relationships, accept that you are incorrect here and let it go.[/quote]

I understand that everyone is incurring the costs to go to the wedding of course. My point in mentioning the expenses of flights, hotel, etc., is that in our budget that is something we have to plan for. I've never attended a "destination wedding" before. All the weddings we have been to have been local, or at least no more than 4 hours driving. If it wasn't our son who was getting married, we would have just RSVP'd that we wouldn't be able to attend. We gave them $1500 because that is what we can afford to give. It doesn't matter how much the wedding costs or whether they choose the most expensive or least expensive flowers, etc. We can't give more than we can afford. Our daughter told us she doesn't think she's getting married and that we could roll her wedding fund over to her brother, but we never had a wedding fund for her to begin with. If you have never had to scrimp, save, and budget, then you have no idea how stressful it feels to spend as much as we are on this wedding. The children are not having a rehearsal dinner. Just a dinner for the two immediate families, and the next night a welcome dinner for everyone, including the rabbi. Of course they are free to use the $1500 towards whatever event works best for them. We gave as much as we could comfortably afford. [/quote]

This is all fine and reasonable.  Though, if you don't expect to pay for a wedding for your daughter, you will have to face your friend's opinions and thoughts then too.

However, given all you say, why for the love of g-d, can't you just be happy for your son and thankful it's all working out for a nice event and get over some invitation wording?!

Truthfully, I just don't get this at all.

I am Jewish, my DH not, we got married on our own, had a party after.  Our parents both paid a lot, we paid a lot, the invite wasn't traditional, it was all kind of different and weird, and we all had a blast.  We actually all like each other and enjoyed the time together.  Who cares about the rest of it OP.  Let it go and enjoy what you've got.[/quote]

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