Reply to Would you hang onto a marriage with someone who doesn’t love you for the sake of kids?

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Reply to "Would you hang onto a marriage with someone who doesn’t love you for the sake of kids?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op here.  I think the underlying reason is that he probably never really wanted this marriage.  He’s an extreme introvert and kinda tried me on for a while thinking it would be good for him.  But 15 years in, he wants to read his books, hike and pursue his hobbies. He has very few needs for people—we have “couple friends” who we see frequently and he has a few of his own friends who he sees occasionally…but social interaction is not high on his list of priorities.

He is a very good father—quiet, but attentive and interested. I think he spends all of the emotional energy he has on being connected with the kids and has nothing left for me, friends or other relationships.  He is truly good with the kids—we hike together a lot as a family, he comes to all sporting events, he talks to them about their days, he plans vacations with their interests in mind, etc.   I handle all kid logistics but he handles lots of other logistics—e.g.  vacation planning, home repairs, more than 50% of the cooking, etc.  [/quote]

I can relate to this, very similar situation. That’s the perfect way to put it— feeling like you were “tried on” but ultimately, they want the old life back and the things that make them most comfortable/happy. Mine too has a load of hobbies and personal interests I’m not involved in nor would even be interested in, almost seems as if men like this got married because an undertow pulled them out into marriage and they spend the rest of the marriage pining for the shore that will let them go back to their old cool single dude life again. And no, it’s not necessarily to date another woman, just to be the fun dude who can go biking/jet skiing/take classes/take up new hobbies/visit friends in Europe, you name it. And if another woman wants to play ball and support his hobbies like, awesome (but she better not become a pain in the ass and get in the way.)[/quote]

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