Reply to Should single women over 35 settle if they want children?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]35 is too old dangerous for the baby[/quote]

It's not. Relative risk is higher, but absolute risk is low, you rearhat.[/quote]

The best biological window for pregnancy is generally the 20s to early 30s. That is when fertility is highest, egg quality is better, miscarriage risk is lower, and pregnancy complications are generally lower. ACOG says fertility starts declining by around age 30, declines faster in the mid-30s, and by 45 has declined so much that natural pregnancy is unlikely for most women. ASRM also says fertility begins dropping in the late 20s or early 30s and falls more rapidly after 35.
That does not mean every woman over 35 cannot have a healthy baby. Of course many do. But it is dishonest to pretend 35 is medically the same as 25 or 30. It is not. ACOG specifically classifies pregnancy at 35+ as "advanced maternal age" because risks are higher for both the mother and baby, including miscarriage, chromosomal abnormalities, gestational diabetes, preeclampsia, cesarean delivery, preterm birth, low birth weight, and stillbirth.

And no, "absolute risk is low" does not erase the issue. Relative risk matters when you are talking about fertility, miscarriage, stillbirth, and genetic abnormalities. A risk can still be statistically meaningful even if many pregnancies turn out fine.

After 35, women are often told to seek fertility evaluation after only 6 months of trying, not after a full year, because fertility declines with age. CDC says some providers evaluate and treat women 35+ after 6 months of unprotected sex, and NIH/NICHD gives the same general threshold.
Also, fertility treatments are not magic. Hormone stimulation, IVF, egg retrieval, genetic testing, donor eggs, and high-risk OB monitoring may become more relevant with age, but they do not fully undo age-related egg quality decline. ASRM says women delaying pregnancy after 35 should get information on testing and treatment while staying realistic about the chances of success.

So the accurate medical statement is this: the ideal biological age to have a baby is usually in the 20s to early 30s. After 35, fertility is lower and pregnancy risks are higher. Plenty of women still have healthy babies after 35, but pretending age does not matter is misinformation.[/quote]

The challenge is that biologically, most women would be best off reproducing in their 20s and early 30s. And also, most women are most marketable in their mid-20s.

However, pretty much every woman I know who married the man she was dating in her 20s now thinks she didn't live independently enough, or was way too young to get married, or has checked out of the marriage. Mid-40s self-actualization, etc. It can be pretty messy at that point with pre-teens/young teens.

I do think 26, 27 is way too young for a lot of people to pick the person they'll be with for life. But, that's the advice we get from those who waited. Honestly all of life's a gamble.[/quote]

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