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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Since you know it's an issue, on her [b]bday, anniversary, Valentine's Day, whenever you should offer to pay[/b].  You are not married and she wants to be romanced.  There is nothing wrong with that.  You could ask her what the root of her concern is.  It might be worth the convo.  I expect she is over the limitation of your income and doesn't want to finance you any more.

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I always pay 100% for these except once when there were two VD meals and I put one on the joint card.  VD day is for both partners, amirite?  And where did I reveal our sexes?

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LOL you didn’t reveal your sexes but any man who earned more than his partner and expected to be treated all the time would be kicked to the curb immediately, so it was obvious.  I’m a woman and I’d kick her to the curb too but I’ve always believed in equality [/quote]

To be fair, my partner certainly doesn’t want/expect to be treated all the time; they just are clearly not loving/respecting the 50/50 imposed by the joint card. BTW, my partner is half a decade older than me and has inherited a lot of money, something that will happen to me too but on a different schedule because of the age difference.

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5 years is peanuts.

You already are treating them since it’s such a larger % of your after tax earnings, than there’s, going into the joint account.

Are they just cheap or have lots of kids and grandkids to fund still??[/quote]

As stated their kids have no financial worries.  And they’re not cheap as a rule.  Much more spendy than I am.  That doesn’t mean they want to split expenses in proportion to their relative wealth/income.  I think they believe I should rearrange my finances to free up cash to spend on us, and that I should spend more freely because it’s quite unlikely that I will literally tun out of money.  But that’s easy for them to say, making it a point to never dip into their capital.[/quote]

This sounds very unkind and ungenerous. I would not think well of someone who expected me to care less about my children’s financial future than they cared about their own children. [/quote]

Not really - we don’t know the numbers. I can’t say from what Op wrote if he’s just cheap or actually stretched. It shouldn’t be his concern how she funds her kids, her interest on capital etc, and how much remains for her and and her kids.
If he was dating a poorer woman HE would be the one finding housing, travel etc. But he doesn’t want  it.

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In your definition, cheap means wants to spend an equal amount of cash as her? Sorry, no. You sound like another woman with gendered expectations, frankly. (And I say this as a woman).[/quote]

There are a lot of women out there with those kinds of gendered expectations--anecdotally it seems to have increased again with the younger (late teens/early 20s) women than it was in my dating days (GenX).[/quote]

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