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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My kids - DD and DS - know how to do laundry properly (sort, temp of water, what products, how to dry, iron, fold etc) very well.  In fact, they taught all of this to other students in their dorms when they went to college.

However, they bring back boatloads of dirty laundry whenever they come home for me to handle. In fact, they start calculating how many days are left to come home and then countdown with their clean clothes.

They know how to cook because I taught them how to cook. Not the usual boil eggs, make pasta, make burritos, chop salads, and make tea/coffee kind of dorm cooking. No, no, no - real cooking like kormas, biryani, satay, gimbaps, fried fish, braised sweet and sour pork, risotto, jambalaya, empanadas, dumplings, samosas.  In desserts they can bake, make mooncakes, gulab-jamuns, cheesecake etc.   BUT they absolutely become absolute slugs when they come home.

And, they know how to make their beds...but they sleep in a tangle of blankets, sheet and pillows because that does not need to be ever made.  But, do they like that I wash their sheets and make their beds? Of course.

If I ask my kids why they are such slugs - they rattle out that they are high performers in college/work, they make good money, they don't smoke/drink/vape, they have good friends, they don't have mental health issues, they have a large circle of friends, they have SOs, their lives are not dysfunctional, they are not criminals, they don't do drugs, they are not promiscuous and they have chosen good partners, no out-of-wedlock pregnancies - so I should be grateful and not criticize them.

I say - buyer's beware.  If you would have a problem with my parenting, then remember this flawed parenting is what allowed them to have a flawed picker and choose you.  [/quote]

College isn’t real life. I hated doing laundry in communal laundry rooms and it cost me $8.50 a load 15 years ago. I didn’t have hours to spend waiting on laundry. A lot of kids have stressful lives in college and decompress at their parents homes on breaks.

Dh and I are both type A high persons who are high functioning. Both our work lives and our homes are ran with precision. However, we definitely become slugs at our respective parents homes. I can’t explain it but I feel dead to the world there and want to let my parents take over entertaining my kids. Dh also becomes unhelpful with the kids at his parents house. [/quote]

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