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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What kind of money are you talking about? You send $300 a month or $6000?[/quote]

More than $300 and less than $6000.  We were paying for a non-professional to stop by my mother's house for a couple hours a day several days a week.[/quote]

Ok well I know from personal experience that isn't that much money. You're loaded according to you. Just send the $1000 a month and be done with it. These non professionals work for peanuts and you know it.[/quote]

Except we no longer need the non professional because she won't be living at home.  That's my point.[/quote]

But you were never sending that much to begin with. Now you're reimbursing your sister for her time, gas, mileage and everything else that goes with this ongoing care because every little need isn't covered by a home.[/quote]

The nursing home is practically right next door to her job.  Literally less than a minute away.  That was part of the appeal for her.  So there’s no gas or mileage involved.  As for reimbursing her for her time, nope—I’m not reimbursing her for her time visiting her mother.

In any event, as I noted in my first post, she specifically said she wanted the money to pay Larla for continuing to visit.  That’s what confuses me.

But whatever.  I’m paying it. [/quote]

You are starting to appear petty.   [b]If your sister asked for the money she must need it.  [/b]

The way you described how you feel about your mother was kind of odd.  “I don’t really like her” Another sibling doesn’t really like her either and another kind of likes her”.   This sometimes comes out later in life when an elder relative needs their family.  They come start talking about long ago slights or a time when the parent wasn’t there for a period of time because she was sicker than you realized as a child.  I’ve heard some real trivial situations that 60 year old women hold on to and use it to justify why they’re not going to help.

Just help with money, it’s the easiest way to assist with your mother’s care.  [/quote]

Maybe, maybe not.  I don't think any of us are in a position to judge what is needed and in what amount.  I wonder if OP suspects her sister is skimming off the top or otherwise taking advantage.

Agree with you overall though- as my grandma aged all sorts of old resentments came out among my mom and her siblings.  In that case my grandma had enough $ and LTC to cover her care, but there were a lot of petty arguments over decisions and drudging up of things from childhood.[/quote]

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