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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Maybe get in touch with the nursing home and inquire how this would work? I also have difficulties imagining an outsider not related to family visiting an elder in a nursing home, when the whole point of a nursing home is caretaking. Maybe people who have more experience with nursing homes should chime in. Otherwise it sounds like your sister wants to outsource her own visits with Larla, meaning she'd not go because it's depressing and instead Larla goes. Is your mom mentally out of it and has no clue who visits?[/quote]

I suspect you've hit it right on the head.  Larla isn't a professional caregiver.  My sister just wants her to visit. [b] She wants someone checking in on our mother every single day, but doesn't want to visit every day herself. [/b] And she wants the rest of us (primarily me) to pay for it.

Larla isn't being asked to do any of the things that posters have been throwing out -- laundry, medicines, shopping, etc.  Just to visit.  My sister does the other stuff and doesn't want anybody else doing it.  Again, it's a guilt driven compulsion.  That and she's a bit of a control freak.  But that's another issue!

[/quote]

I mean it sounds like your sister has a job and other responsibilities.  Even if you were local, would you be able to go to the nursing home every day?[/quote]

I'm not saying I could or would.  What I said is that it's what my sister wants.  I don't think she needs visitors every day.  [/quote]

Well it was presented as two different things- that she [b]wants[/b] someone checking in on her every day, and she doesn't [b]want[/b] to make the daily visits herself.  All I'm saying is that the latter would be a lot for any one person, particularly if they have other responsibilities, so I'm not sure why you frame it as her not wanting to visit.  IMO, whether your mom needs daily check-ins should probably be collectively decided as a sibling group, but considering your sister is putting in most of the work and would likely be the first person the nursing home calls when things come up (right?) then continuing to delegate visits to a trusted family hire would provide her some peace of mind and continuity for your mom.  You seem annoyed that you are sending more money than the rest of your siblings, but it seems like this should have been addressed earlier.[/quote]

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