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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I genuinely think a lot of middle-aged men wildly underestimate how embarrassing it looks to blow up a multi-decade family.

You are not just leaving a wife. You are permanently altering your children’s lives.

You are splitting holidays. Creating two homes. Reducing stability. Weakening trust. Changing the emotional texture of childhood itself. Your kids now have to adapt to transitions, divided traditions, logistical stress, and the grief of watching their family fracture.

And for what, exactly? Validation? Excitement? Novelty? Escape from responsibility? A fantasy that a different woman or different life will fix something internal?

Also, it just looks bad…

A man abandoning a long-term partner and destabilizing his family in midlife rarely comes across as profound or evolved. Most of the time it reads as cliché. Like someone chasing self-reinvention at the expense of the people who built a life with him. Gross.
[/quote]

It's never as cut and dry as people make it out to be. My close male friend in his 50s left his wife in a similar way to OP's but even though everyone might think they were doing great all these years they weren't. I don't think he was a perfect husband but she was constantly belittling him and created a lot of drama. The coworker he left her for is about 7 years younger so not that big of a difference, but she's also a really nice person who is calm and even. She is really pretty too and smart, but I truly think it was more about the fact that she's not the type of person to fly off the handle all the time and say cruel things to him like his wife did sometimes.[/quote]

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