Reply to Crazy paternity leave situation

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Crazy paternity leave situation"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My friend came to me with the saddest mid-divorce reveal I’ve ever heard. When her only child was born, her DH only had 2 weeks of paternity leave. He didn’t take all of it and went back 2 days early. It was really hard on her and sometimes we still look back on those days pretty ruefully. The worst part was he worked for a Fortune 500 company that changed paternity-specific leave to parental leave that year and gave everyone with a new child 12 weeks, paid. He ended up covering leave for half his team while they still had their own tiny baby at home.

As part of some kind of mediation session during divorce, she found out that he actually had 6 weeks leave and just never took it. Which explained why when she asked him to petition to HR to be grandfathered in or get some kind of additional leave when they changed the policy, he said it was impossible.

I’ve never heard anything quite so specific and awful that wasn’t an affair. She’s asking me if she’s crazy. Am I ok in validating that this was a supremely messed up act of deception? Why would a father do that?[/quote]

We are supposed to believe that this is a big issue for her now? Years later? During a divorce?

First off, the family courts won’t care.

Second off, you are saying he lied about it? Surely he lies all the time to look or feel better so this is just one example of many.

Next, yes white collared jobs with clients do a mix of things for taking actual leave or not. Up to the couple to take it when over the first 12 mos of when eligible. Some do a week or two right away, or after the grandparents guests leave.c or after the wife’s 12 weeks fml, or before the new nanny shows up, or whatever or only 1 or 2 weeks. Same with women. [/quote]

Oh I think a family court might care if a dad lied to cut short his paternity leave. It’s probably part of a pattern of him avoiding caregiving duties. Although I stuck it out with my ex for several more years, I would have had an airtight case for getting much more than 50% physical custody based on his complete disinterest in being an active parent to a baby. He was actively avoiding it by claiming to “work late.” [/quote]

This is totally irrelevant. 
-Divorced (from an attorney)[/quote]

Again please read the actual law - all DMV jurisdictions take into account the prior history of parenting involvement. I never said one single incident is enough but certainly this could be part of a pattern. And I strongly suspect that a guy who would lie to escape paternity leave was not a very involved father. [/quote]

He was providing financially which is part of parenting. [/quote]

How so? How big a part? 
What does it entail??  What does “providing financially” exactly have to do with parenting? [/quote]

Newborns sleep most of the day. Should that factor in? If he was present during awake time does that count towards co-parenting? If OP's friend wants to play that game it might blow up on her.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics