Reply to Tween Daughter is driving us nuts about spending

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Being blunt here... What did you expect if you send her to an expensive private school? Do you drive expensive cars? What does that teach her?

Your kid doesn't know anything different.  She is surrounded by wealth, and people who have expensive things.  What did you expect?
[/quote]

I posted the first question asking if she attended private and this is what I was thinking.  I suspected it wasn't her being just superficial. All kids want to do is fit in.  You send her to school with kids she can't fit in with economically what do you expect?  Not saying its resolved with public school depending on the neighborhood but publkc schools tend to be more economically diverse.  If all the kids vacation in Europe, ski in Aspen or wear brand name clothes what do you think will happen?  You have to put in the work to instill other values.

She is normal.[/quote]

Agree with this. She just wants things her peers have and fit in. Normal stage of growing up. [/quote]

But she has two miserly parents who only want the cheapest discount clothes from Target or elsewhere. Daughter probably feels like she sticks out like a sore thumb in her school environment. Why would the parents do that to her? They aren’t going to force her to see it their way. I had a friend who resorted to shoplifting because her parents were so unreasonable and ridiculously cheap and she was ashamed of her old out of style clothes.[/quote]

Parents bought lululemon at DD's request.  She then threw a fit when she found out it was on sale.  Parents aren't being unreasonable.[/quote]

Why would she pick out something on sale? Did she pick out something generally and then the parents found a similar item on sale? Like she got the shorts but in a weird color? Something isn't adding up.[/quote]

Yeah, I think (maybe clueless) dad doesn't get it or isn't giving us the whole story with the sale items.  Except for a few times of year (like after Christmas) the stuff on sale at Lululemon is the only the weird (read: ugly) colors/patterns or other odd items (weird cuts, silhouettes, etc.) that ended up not selling at full price.  His DD does not want that stuff - she wants like a pair of black align leggings or a pink scuba or whatever.  If that's out of your budget, fine.  But if not, maybe just let her have one or two staple pieces like those I mentioned (the girls at my DD's middle school will re-wear their favorite two hoodies all week long) and move on.  Being 12-14 is just rough and the height of all this stress to fit in, not get pushed out of this circle, that circle.  Or if not Lulu -- some other store that is some steps up from Target (in the girls' eyes).  Again, get staple pieces that she can use in most outfits.  And the right backpack or shoes is actually another good place to spend.  [/quote]

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