Reply to How close to someone do you have to be to go to the funeral of their parent?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I became good friends with a mom at our daughters' school. Frequent texting, dinners out with our husbands, etc. 
Our kids graduated last year and we've drifted apart a bit. We last had coffee a month ago. 
Her parent died in late Jan and the memorial is in 2 weeks. I know about the death from her (she shared in detail)
but I only know about the memorial info from the obituary.
I should go, right? I feel like I stalked the event online by googling for the details but that's the point of putting funeral details in an obituary, right?

[/quote]I would go if I could.

This is what I usually do, I got to the funeral and sometimes the wake.  I see them at the reception- very briefly.  Then, six ish weeks after, I call and set up a lunch date.  Then, I ask them how they are doing and how they are sleeping.  I let them talk as much as they need and offer support to the extent that I can.  Sometimes, I will say a very small bit about what helped me- but basically the lunch is all about them.  I might check in six weeks later for another similar lunch if they seem to need it.  [/quote]

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