Reply to Do some parents just have bad luck in the kid department?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My mom was super self-righteous about how her superior parenting with my older sister and me. Then she had my younger sister who was a total nightmare from day one.[/quote]

Op here. My daughter has a friend who is lovely. Mom and dad are amazing. She has a sister who is the meanest unkind girl I have ever met. The mom said she has been difficult from the day she came home from the hospital screaming and basically never stopped. We have known this family for a long time and the girl physically abuses her sister and parents. [/quote]

But some kids are difficult from day one and still turn out great because they have great parents. There is a lot you can do to help a kid who might have challenges. The idea that a baby came home from the hospital screaming (an infant, a totally defenseless and unself-aware newborn baby) and these great parents just never figured out how to help her? I don't buy it. I think what happens is that some kids have challenges and their parents aren't up to the task. They might be okay with an easy kid who doesn't have those challenges, but they can't accept or are not willing to do the greater level of parenting work that it takes to parent a child who isn't easy, so they give up and say "oh it's just nature."

But some parents do figure out how to parent those kids, and the kids don't become the meanest, unkind children you've ever met and they don't physically abuse their family members. Because their needs (which were higher than most kids' needs) were met. Their parents are better parents than that girl's parents.[/quote]

Some kids do fine with Parenting 101. Other kids require a PhD in Parenting, Nutirion, Psychology, and training in medicine, physical therapy, OT, speech and languge, and special education, plus a bit of law thrown in. It's hard to judge the parents who are not experts in all of the latter if they struggle with that kid.[/quote]

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