Reply to My ADHD husband lets me down in every single possible logistical situation. Anyone else in a similar boat?

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Reply to "My ADHD husband lets me down in every single possible logistical situation. Anyone else in a similar boat?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don’t understand why you’re giving him tasks he obviously can’t handle. Outsource as much of these as possible. What can he do? Give him those tasks. [/quote]
If he’s the SAHP, OP should not have to do all of the mental labor. Absolutely not.

I have ADHD and I know severity and presentation varies, but he needs to find his motivation. Is it consequences? Can you throw medication, coaching, choice architecture at things for him? Most people learn themselves pretty well by mid-life and can figure out their own scaffolding, even if it means they will still only function at 75%.

I know you’re probably at the end of your rope, but shame is your worst enemy here. ADHDers cannot function in a fog of shame of their shortcomings. [/quote]

I like that last sentence, PP. My wife divorced me because of my ADHD even though I was doing the majority of scheduling, activities, bills, social events, and chores. She just got hung up on the random ADHD misses and basically grew to hate anything about ADHD. I ended up with custody because the kids also have ADHD and she just couldn't accept it enough to help them develop tools to succeed. [/quote]

Lol. Whatever you say.

Maybe it’s impossible to raise adhd kids with good habits when one parent is constantly undermining them.[/quote]
I’m the ADHD spouse and my non-ADHD spouse constantly undermines the kid with ADHD. They refuse to learn about it, empathize AT ALL with how hard this must be, and just keep trying to barrel through with threats and consequences that don’t work. It’s exhausting. Kid doesn’t trust that parent at all and its affecting their self esteem. Not to mention, the fact that my partner can’t empathize with how hard some things are for me also makes me feel terrible about myself and resentful of them. Things are not going well over here.[/quote]

Hope all your molly coddling works out. 
Can always set up a trust fund with monthly payouts for them. [/quote]

DP. you're exactly the kind of moron he is talking about. You REFUSE to learn anything about ADHD and insist on everyone conforming to your ways.[/quote]

Ahhhh, here’s the “I’m never changing ever,” adhd attitude folks!

You accommodate my dysfunction. [/quote]

You’re dysfunctional one. I’m assuming narcissism is what afflicts you. [/quote]
Now picking up after yourself is dysfunctional and narcissistic?! Who knew!?![/quote]

I think it’s the eugenics talk about how all neurodivergent people should drive themselves and their ND children off a cliff that’s getting people upset.  Picking up after yourself is fine.  [/quote]
Huh?

The eugenics talk here on DCUM is all the amazing super powers ND people have and how without them society would be living in caves still. Lol. [/quote]

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