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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What are people who don’t make enough to live supposed to do? It’s a privilege to save for retirement. It really is.[/quote]

Asian American here. I was a child of immigrants. DH and I support my parents and his mom. We know many adult Asian Americans supporting their elderly parents. It is actually quite common.[/quote]

Do you feel resentful about this? Genuinely curious.[/quote]

No, I’m not resentful at all. They moved to this country and did the best they could. I always had housing and food. It isn’t like they spent frivolously and wasted money. They just never had money.

I’m surprised at Americans who seem to be able to turn their backs on their family.[/quote]

Psst.  You're an American.  Not all Americans turn their back on their family.

My family has been here since the mayflower.  I work my ass off to make sure I can care for them if they need it.  My mom has needed help to a small extent.  My dad has been independent.  And we've helped other family to small degrees.  But I know (and my mom knows) that I always have their backs.  [/quote]

NP-I'm not from the US but I don't feel like I want to have my parents' or in-laws' back: they did not have my back as an adult in any way so why should I have theirs? There's something really not right about having to be fully independent at 18 in all ways and then still have to care for people in their old age as you yourself never had help. And as a parent I feel even more strongly about this: support should flow down to kids, not up to parents. I would feel like an absolute failure and bad person if my adult kids had to financially worry about me.[/quote]

Yeah I can totally understand this.

My issue is not that my parents haven't been supportive, they have, but they've also made some poor financial decisions over the years that led them to having minimal savings.  Even now it seems like they are living above their means- they sold their house because despite living there 30 years had not paid off the mortgage due to multiple refinancings, and now rent a "luxury" townshouse that I doubt they can afford longterm.  But of course my mom still wanted the full basement, the garage, etc.  They both still work part-time in their 70s so I uess it works for now but I'm sure the days are numbered there.[/quote]

My in-laws are exactly like that: sold their house (which they had a downpayment for thanks to fil's parents) which they had refinanced, stayed very complacent as renters in a great apartment and had to move three times since, each time for more and more money because they only want luxury. Both of them still work as well. I absolutely do not want to be on the hook for their bad decisions when we ourselves made a lot of sacrifices to be financially stable. I really don't understand the way they play ostrich with finances. They recently adopted a dog and wanted to pay as little as possible to adopt, but ended up getting a dog with medical needs and expensive meds. They thought: "cheap dog now, great!" instead of "how much is this dog going to cost long term?" and even inquiring about the cost of the meds. It's maddening how they live their lives without thinking of the future. I would not care if I didn't feel we are their plan B.[/quote]

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