Reply to Why do so many people think it's okay to flake last minute?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I've noticed this more and more lately. I had a party earlier this year, and of the 30 people who said they could attend, 10 cancelled within the 24 hours leading up to the party. I had so much extra food and frankly it was a bit hurtful 'friends' couldn't bother to show up, as the reasons for cancellation were largely BS. Yesterday, I went to a dinner and was annoyed that 2 of the 3 people I knew attending the event cancelled last minute. When I did show up, the host told me that a third of the attendees had also backed out.

Can we start calling this out as the rude behavior that it is? I've stopped making an effort with many of the people who do this regularly. People talk about how difficult it is to make friends in this area but pull this type of thing. [/quote]

How old are you and the other attendees?

TBH I think there’s a season of life for dinner parties, and in the thick of careers, kids, and against parents isn’t it. Things happen with work and kids, and a party that requires dressing up, hiring sitters, coordination with others, showing up at a specific time and staying for several hours, just isn’t feasible for many people. I loved dinner parties in my 20s, and I expect I’ll love them again in my 50s/60s, but right now they’re more of a source of stress than fun.

You’d probably have better luck with more chill hangouts. I like getting together for coffee, either at a shop or at someone’s house - low pressure, I can bring the kids, I don’t have to dress up, I can leave after an hour. And if someone cancels, it’s not that big of a deal.

Also, where I live, parties are more low key. Kids are always invited and they usually set up activities for the kids to do. Food is mostly snacky/appetizer type food, nothing too intense. Tons of people are invited and everyone can come and go as they please, bring guests, etc. TV is on for people who don’t want to socialize as much. This is pretty much the perfect setup for me to attend a party - I don’t need a sitter, don’t need to change clothes, don’t need to be on time, my kids and I get fed, low pressure to socialize. [/quote]

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