Reply to How to handle separation from a man I’m attached to?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think you need to learn to enjoy being by and with yourself. And stop seeing any little disruption of plans as a personal affront. Heck, use that time to work on yourself and figuring out why you feel that way.[/quote]
OP here. I think it’s because my bonding hormones increase so much when we are together that it’s really hard to go through a drop for the next few days. It’s biological. A painful withdrawal stage always makes me think that if love comes with so much pain, I don’t need love in my life. Based on this, I made a decision to marry DH many years ago. I didn’t love him, and there were no meaningful changes in my hormonal levels - not much pleasure, but no pain either. [/quote]

Grow up and control your “hormones.”  You’re not a feral cat. [/quote]
+1. Absolutely insane to absolve yourself of responsibility because it’s your hormones’ fault.

Do you have any friends (THAT AREN’T MEN) in real life that care about you that you can share this story with? [/quote]
OP here. We again spent 3 full days and nights together, and I’m back to square 1 and re-read this whole thread today.

I spoke with my friend (woman) yesterday, and she said that I shouldn’t show him that I miss him so much. I don’t show, and he says how he likes that I’m always calm and drama free and make life easier. Last week he said that he loves me. He proudly introduces me as his girlfriend, tells me that I’m a perfect girlfriend and that we are great together. He texted me today saying that he missed me, but when I asked if he wants to take a walk after work, he said that his feet haven’t healed yet, and he plans to go to bed early. He ran a marathon over the weekend and got some blisters, but he was perfectly fine walking in flip flops for the rest of the weekend - we hiked to the waterfall and walked around a lake.

So now I’m missing him so badly again and have trouble focusing on work or any other activities. [/quote]

Have you considered that he may be dating others perhaps?  You have only been a 'couple' for 2 months.  That is a very short time.  How do you know that you are 'exclusive'?  I don't know, but it seems that either you a suffocating him by being so needy or he is also still dating others.  Just because you have sex with him and he tells you that you are the 'perfect girlfriend' doesn't mean that you are exclusive.  He is getting free sex and he's probably not about to give this up, so he may just tell you what you want to hear at that moment.  I'd proceed with caution and get therapy before getting more entangled in ANY love relationship at this time.  It is clear that you are definitely not meant to be in a FWB situation.  [/quote]
I doubt that he is dating others. Since the beginning of January, we’ve spent all the weekends together (e.g., I come to his place on Friday evening and stay until Monday morning), he offered me to become his girlfriend “just you and me”, he clearly said that he wants a deep emotional connection, he cares about me a ton. If we don’t see each other for 4 days, we have sex in two minutes after we meet and then have it 4 more times that day - chemistry is insane. We just spent 3 days and nights together, two of those in a cabin with a hot tub, and after so much sex and running a marathon why would he go meet somebody else next day? [/quote]

I'm not sure how old you are, OP, and how old your boyfriend is, but men are absolutely capable over having sex with multiple women and parallel dating.  I don't think that he is having sex with others from what you describe above, but it feels that you are crowding him and that is why he is not wanting to see you every single day.  This can get overwhelming to a man real quick and while he may enjoy the sex, he may start looking elsewhere to find a better connection while still enjoying sex with you. You might also be in a deep state of limerence.  This can absolutely feel like this.[/quote]

In college I had a boyfriend who would only spend weekends with me because he wanted to “keep the relationship fresh”. I thought this was romantic but when my mom heard about it she immediately exclaimed “because he’s got other girlfriends.”[/quote]

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