Reply to Are you starting to resent your elderly parent being alive?

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "Are you starting to resent your elderly parent being alive?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]No, I never resented my parents for being alive. I’d give anything for a few more hours with my Mom.  What I did resent was not having more resources/ a larger family to share in the caregiving and other responsibilities.  I also felt torn, in my parents last days — that my wish for more time with them was in conflict with what they were enduring.

I do resent the impact that my caregiving responsibilities— that I willingly took on — have had on other aspects of my life, but I resented society, not my parents. (As in: being the legal next of kin planning for hospital discharges wasn’t about my parents or even their needs — it was about insurance, and the way this country truly doesn’t value and support the elderly or family caregivers.)[/quote]

After "society" paid their hospital bill???[/quote]

I’m not sure what you’re asking. Due to a lifetime of working, my mom had primary, secondary and tertiary insurances, and paid for assisted living and additional bills that weren’t covered by insurance out of pocket. I’m sure that my mom did more for society in her life then society ever did for her.

My comment refers to the amount of work that family members need to take on as part of eldercare that the FMLA doesn’t begin to help with.  “Society” leaves much of eldercare up to family members — and those who don’t have people to do a lot of running around as well as income, are f*cked. My career will never recover from the time that I —willingly — spent focused on eldercare. As a consequence, that means my own preparations for my future as an elder have been permanently f*cked, since my insurance options are limited, my social security is less than it otherwise would have been, and so on.  Other countries have very different types of social safety nets. [/quote]

+1 
While my siblings have enjoyed uninterrupted education and careers ….its not right. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics