Reply to Tension with Wife's Family over Finances

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You told your father-in-law that your wife wouldn’t be paying back a family loan? No wonder he’s pissed.[/quote]

OP here.  She would not be paying it back with marital income. Since she is now back in school and not earning income that means that I would not be making payments on it with my income.[/quote]

That’s not how debt works. Jesus, I would hate you too.[/quote]

Meh. If the FIL wanted to be repaid like a bank then he should have set the loan up with formalities or just made his daughter take out actual loans. While I think in good conscience OP’s wife should try to pay something back, it also seems like the FIL is a cheapskate and possibly using the money to try to control his daughter.[b] Possibly the FIL had no intention of ever collecting on the “loan” but is now acting like a bank that he has a rich son in law.[/b] And of course, one expects and hopes that a parent has more regard for the affordability of debt as compared to a shady payday lender …

[/quote]

Yeah I was wondering that too.  Like if she didn't marry someone wealthy would FIL still be inivitng them on expensive pay-your-own-way trips while collecting on this loan?  Because when I was paying back my loans (not nearly as much as the one in question here) as young professional there was no way I could afford expensive travel.  I was scouring Southwest deals.[/quote]
But she is married to a rich man, and they can afford to pay back the loan. They can also choose to not go to these dinners and trips.

Where is the wife in all this?  Does she say no to the parents when they say they want to go to an expensive trip or dinner?  She seems to have no backbone but wants the men in her life to subsidize her poor choices, and then not have to deal with the consequences of  those choices.

She chose twice to get a degree that doesn't pay much.  She seems to have gone from one rich man to another expecting them to pay her way.[/quote]

This man is selfish and controlling.  She needs to get a job.  [/quote]
pp here. I don't disagree that the FIL sounds controlling,  but so does her DH. And she also sounds like a leech expecting the men her in life to pay her way for the bad choices she makes.[/quote]

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