Reply to How to forgive spouse for initiating a gray divorce?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’m so angry u can barely talk to him [/quote]

Don’t forgive him, he’s a narcissist.  I bet every decision he made over the last 25 years only had to do about him and was for him. He was never a family man or a true father or true husband.

Take time and process this all.

Take the money, talk with the kids- tell the exactly what happened here, then take a 6 month around the world cruise to celebrate and heal. [/quote]

More psychotic talk. Stop projecting. You don’t know these people. It’s more likely she’s the problem if he filed. [/quote]

Men file early on if wife is unwell mentally.

Jerk men file gray divorce after the free childcare and housekeeping, to get another young bite at the apple.

And most men don’t marry ever and have children out of wedlock either multiple women. Let’s not forget that 30% contingent! [/quote]

No man filing a grey divorce wants a new family. He might need to contend with that if he finds a new wife who is in her thirties or something. But usually a man initiating a grey divorce has been done with his wife for legitimate reasons for a long time, especially if she is bitter, angry all the time, is hypercritical or otherwise unpleasant. This goes double if she got fat and/or the bedroom is dead.

This is especially true for good fathers. They stay until the kids are launched and then are ready to live again and they don’t want to spend the rest of their days with a woman who treats them like shit.

So they leave. It’s not that hard to figure out. [/quote]

No one claims men leave to start a new family, though they often do just that.

They leave because they failed at their marriage with kids, and never wanted to do the work to improve themselves. So hit the Easy Button. [/quote]

Except, they don't. What's the stat -- 65% to 75% of divorces are initated by women? And among college-educated women, it's 90%? So, your caricature doesn't really square with the data.

A man in that 10% really has to have good reasons and isn't doing it on a whim.

Women generally are more whimsical when it comes to filing. They're more likely to assume the grass is greener and they confuse the man with being the cause of their unhappiness.

You know the old maxim: Men will sacrifice their happiness for their families. Women will sacrifice their families for their happiness. [/quote]

There is no “old maxim” that says that. Plus it doesn’t even make sense.

Men stay and continue to do nothing when kids are on the scene because they are lazy, avoidant; and busy doing other things (like more work).

[b]Then they muster up an easy, fast boilerplate gray divorce later [/b]when all the hard family work is over, courtesy of the spouse. Why? Because they deserve better. Someone to adore them!  Enjoy their money with! Companionship! Play holiday time with the adult kids!  Easy way out indeed. [/quote][/quote]

The stats say otherwise. They don't leave. And when they do, it's for a very good reason. [/quote]

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