Reply to Genuinely don’t understand why people get worked up about weddings

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The two weddings (out of many) that I was invited to that were mandated kid free had kids- but only those selected by the bride. 
Wedding 1- DHs cousin got married out of state and said no kids. I had a 1 year old and DH was deployed- I lived across the country and had no family to help. I declined and still sent a gift- bride was mad and stopped talking to me. Turns out there were kids at the wedding that were her nieces and nephews but those were the only ones allowed there. I was expected to travel across the US and leave my 1 yr old home.

2. Second wedding was DHs cousin’s wedding on his other side of the family. Destination wedding that we had to drive out of state again and brought our 3yr old since it was an entire weekend and road trip. We were told no kids so I spent the entire event in a dingy motel room with my child on a pull out couch while my ILs partied it up and got mad at DH when he wanted to leave early to come relieve me. The bride had 3 children that were my child’s age and they were at the wedding. No other kids allowed. Even knowing I was onsite at the venue with my kid- she/we were still not welcome.

For my wedding I did not specify kid free- I had family coming from out of town and had nephews I wanted there. I did hire my SILs babysitter to come to the wedding to watch my 4 month old nephew and SIL would not put him down despite asking that I pay her sitter to come.

Obviously I am no longer in contact with any of that family as their toxic behavior continued over 20 yrs.[/quote]

I mean it's perfectly legit that kids of immediate family members are included (nieces and nephews) while kids of extended family or friends are not.  The numbers can add up quickly, especially if you get married on the older side. I have a lot of first cousins and most have kids at this point- no one expects that their kids will be included in all wedding invites.  It's been a mix of all kids / no kids / immediate nieces and nephews only.  NBD.  I'm sorry your DH's cousin stopped talking to you though- do they still talk to your DH or was he cut off too?[/quote]

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