Reply to Stepdaughter (16) is out of control

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[quote=Anonymous]Yes, I’ve been there. The only thing you can do is realize you have no authority here. If she is 16 and dad has custody, she is legally required to live in your home with you. Just protect yourself and your kids as best as you can— get a lock on your bedroom door and make sure your wallet and car is always locked up. If her parents can’t (or don’t care to) control her, you will not be able to. I didn’t read through the thread so idk where dad stands on this, but my husband was enabling a lot of her behavior by letting her do whatever she wanted without consequences. It was the hardest time for our marriage, and I wish I could go back in time and tell myself the arguing with husband telling him to “grow a backbone” or whatever wasn’t worth it because I couldn’t make him parent the way I wanted to. If it was our kid, I would have had more standing, and as much as you try to do everything “like this was my kid”, this is just the way it is in this dynamic. IYKYK.  
But just like you won’t be disciplining, you also will not be enabling, like cleaning up after, giving rides, etc. If he is handling the discipline alone, then he can clean up the messes alone. This is part of protecting yourself. Of course still be there for her outside of the drama.
My SD is 25 now and thriving, and has apologized for being awful during that period :)[/quote]

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