Reply to Ex Can’t Do School Logistics Anymore

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Wait- how can any working parent work and also not pay for before or after care??? School is only 7 hours and work is at least 8, plus a commute.

I think you need after care. I know you said it’s full, but what about martial arts?[/quote]
OP here. I still live a few blocks from their schools and WFH. I adjust my schedule to drop off/pick up. Ex will now need to be at work by 8am (kids start just before 9) and works until 4:30, but the kids get out just before 4.

I really don’t care if his GF takes them, that’s not the problem, and he wouldn’t be afraid to say that to me, but that’s not the fix, because he’s said that it’s “not her responsibility”. It’s like he doesn’t know what he’s going to do. I honestly think he thinks I’ll grab them and keep them until he can pick them up and is hoping I suggest this. I have no issue with this, but I agree it’s not my problem to solve. Also, at some point, the tardies pose an issue at school, and the main office (where the kids would sit and wait) closes at 4:30, and he wouldn’t be there by then. I don’t know that the school will differentiate “his” tardies from “my” tardies (there are none) when determining punishment (I believe they lose privileges.) [/quote]

Well, you don't need to know his plan and since you are divorced you need to get used to not knowing more than the bare minimum. I would definitely call his bluff for a while at least. Arrange to be out of the area on the first few days so that you can't pick them up within an hour, and see what he does.

Yes this sucks for the kids but it's best for them in the long term that you nip this in the bud.[/quote]
I understand all of this, but I am conflicted about my children bearing the burden and facing repercussions when I CAN step in and make it so they aren’t missing school. I honestly feel horrible doing nothing. I understand they need to see their dad is slouching, but they really, for how long? A week? I can’t let this go on indefinitely, assuming he actually does not have a plan in place. We are good co-parents, typically, so I truly believe he’s in over his head with this and has no clue what to do. He’s winging it. [/quote]

I think what's best for the kids is that their father get his act together. And if you bail him out, he won't. It's not about them seeing or not seeing him slouching-- clearly he doesn't care about that. It's about him doing a decent job and you having the right boundaries long-term. A few weeks of tardies are worth it. [/quote]

+1. You are not his wife anymore.  He may in fact be in over his head, but let him deal with it.  Your kids will not suffer lasting harm from a few tardy picks up.

After it happens once, talk to the school and make sure they know to call you before they call CPS if this goes on for a while.  Other than that, let your Ex figure it out.  He may need to hire a babysitter.  But it’s not your problem, particularly since he didn’t even ask you for help but you seem to want to “save him from himself.”[/quote]

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