Reply to Failure to Launch Daughter Is Unemployed and Blaming Me for All of Her Problems

Forum Index » Adult Children

Reply to "Failure to Launch Daughter Is Unemployed and Blaming Me for All of Her Problems "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]This is for OP.

This is my first post in this thread.  I have read some of the thread but not it’s entirely. I am also a parent of two children in their twenties.  One has launched successfully and one is still working on it - currently in graduate school after a few stumbles (including that Covid messed up their  internship progression and their government job offer vanished with the current administration). Both are in STEM fields.  We do not have the level of income you and your spouse have- we are closer to the $200k realm.

From my experience, being very strict with money and other expectations doesn’t work. “My way or the highway” attitudes destroy families.   It seems to work with some kids because they adapt to their environment better than others and have a skill set the helps them, and are lucky.  Giving grace helps more.  Making sure our children have what they need to figure out the next steps is important.  Making sure they have the minimum-  a roof over their head, basic food, access to transportation, clothing is treating them humanely.  Making sure they have things that will help them get employed is a real gift.  For both our children, we gave them a car when they got internships that required them to have a car.  We didn’t get a flashy one, but a used basic 3 year old CRV or Rav-4 type.  This was pivotal is helping them find and keep jobs.

If you love your daughter and want her to succeed, you need to help her get to the next step.  You are in a financial position to help more than other parents.  You need to accept that she will not be the child you wanted her to be, but she is her own person.  It’s a rough world out there right now and our kids need to be supported and not pushed away.  They need love and acceptance.

From what you have posted, it sounds like she has a good head on her shoulders and is actively trying to get to the next phase of adulthood.  She is actively looking for work (job market is very tough) and she is seeking out help to get there. These are positives.

I hope you can find grace and love in your heart to help your daughter through this tough time.  You will not agree with some of her choices- this is not a failure in parenting - this is success.  Children grow up to be the person they are.

[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics