Reply to DD 15 just won’t listen to reason!

Forum Index » Tweens and Teens

Reply to "DD 15 just won’t listen to reason!"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We go to church every Sunday. As a family. Non-negotiable, sorry. That’s how it’s always been. When my DD 15 moves out of the house she can skip church if she’d like, she can join a monastery for all I care, but right now she lives with us and every Sunday you better believe she will be at church with us. End of discussion!

But she won’t listen to reason. She’s insisting that she’s an “atheist” and that somehow means she should be exempt from the family rule. Not how it works! She says that church makes her uncomfortable and has said that she has issues with “religion being homophobic.” Well our church isn’t, the minister’s daughter is married to a woman! But I can’t persuade her. It’s always a fight, every single week, and I’m just exhausted. How do I make my daughter understand why this is required?[/quote]

This is a tough one OP. We've had a similar rule and age 14-15 is where we've run into problems.

Does she have friends at church? Is there a youth group or Sunday school class for teens? This helps a lot. I've agreed to let mine skip church services if they go to Youth group, sunday school or something else instead.

[/quote]

Does her dad attend church with the family?

Supposedly, Dad in the home attending church regularly is the strongest indicator of whether teens, boys and girls both, attend church.

**********

An argument that got all my kids through that tern hump was that I posed this 2 part question to them, followed by my answer after they gave their answer.

The first question was, what happens if atheism is correct, and you still participate in our family's faith traditions without a fight?  I let them answer, then say that if atheism is correct, you don't lose anything by attending.  What you receive is a nice weekly tradition of a couple of hours spending time with our family, some really nice holiday traditions, a moral code that is just, kind, and reasonable, and a stronger grasp than most of your peers of world history, modern western law, and current events, through your understanding of Christianity and the Bible.

After they have a second to digest that, I then ask the second half of the question which is what if the atheists are wrong and I am correct?  For this question, I don't say anything else and let them stew on it.  4 kids and that question tends to move them to silence, with wheels turning in their brains.

That combination of questions makes them stop and think in a way that transcends tiktok, social media, and their peers.

4/4 and after those 2 questions, I have never again gotten pushback from my teens about attending church with the family.
[/quote]
What you lose is sleep. Afternoon services would be an easier sell to teens.[/quote]

And that is a reasonable pushback with a reasonable solution.

Catholic churches and most evangelical mega churches have late morning and evening options.

If they are at one of the mainstream protestant churches that tend to be smaller due to falling membership, then the lack of worship times is likely exasperating the issue.  In this case, the response to your statement that the drawback is losing sleep, the answer is that it is our job as parents to install behaviors in you that teach you discipline and self sacrifice, particularly for your family, whether you are an atheist or a nun or anything in between.  Our family routine of attending Sunday services is how we choose to instill that value in you, so as a member of our family, you will attend

There are many ways to approach this argument with a budding atheist that are seeped in 9th grade logic and which do not include picking up a teenager and throwing her in the car.

Heck, 1 hour of Scripture study each week would likely be better than what is happening now.  There are some great apps, such as Bible in a Year that you could study with her.

[b]Explain to her that even if she is a virulent atheist, she will not be culturally literate or able to understand modern laws,  the development of our western modern justice system, cultural norms in the US, the development of universal puplic education, public works/poverty services (driven by Christians), civil rights (driven by Christians) the anti slavery movement (driven by Christians), and much of the US hospital system (created mostly by Christians, specifically Catholics) without an understanding of Christianity, Christian philosophy,  Christian social teaching, and the Bible.

Atheists' main claim to fame is that they are more enlightened and focus on truths and science, unburdened by myths, rituals, and superstitions of those pesky religious people.

The answer to that is any atheist without a solid knowlege base of the Bible, Christianity, Christian history and Christian moral teachings is completely ignorant, completely unenlightened, terribly uninformed, and lacking rudimentary education.

[/quote][/b]

lol what? You think you have to be Christian to understand the anti-slavery movement and the judicial system? All of this is taught in secular school…

It’s not that deep, and you can take any of these classes in high school history / government. I am an atheist and I don’t think I am “enlightened” - I just was not raised with religion. when I look around and see all these horrible things happening in the world (childhood cancer, car accidents) and the religious answer is that we have free will and God gives us what we can handle or God has a plan, I have a hard time buying it. I do understand the urge to believe in something greater to help comfort but I frankly just don’t buy it. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics