Reply to single income family/ SAHM major disadvantage

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][twitter][quote=Anonymous]I’m a SAHM to law partner husband.

The thing is, my DH and I also both believed in both partners contributing financially and domestically (and we met when we were teens). But by the time he was making 3M+ a year, my 200K income was not contributing. It just wasn’t. So it’s a weird thing, to feel like I ought to be contributing financially, and I’m educated and accomplished, but I literally can’t.

My career became more like a hobby - and one I frankly didn’t like all that much. I still dabble part time so I can pick things up when the kids are older, but no question the only way for me to feel like contribute was to devote more of my time to family tasks. If I contributed 200K a year I wouldn’t be stopping us from being “dependent” on one income. If his income changes drastically, our lifestyle will change drastically (though we’d be ok).

[b]Anyway just throwing that out there. Sometimes not working, even with school aged kids, IS the best way to contribute. [/b]

[/quote]

Just to be clear, you ARE working. You just aren’t getting paid for it. Anytime you feel otherwise, go over to the parenting forum and read the posts inquiring how much you should pay a live in nanny who, in addition to taking care of the kids, also: cooks, cleans, takes care of the house etc etc etc. You’ll find that you’re actually a unicorn who should be getting paid $200k. [/quote]

Well that isn't how parenting works. And she is being 'paid' for it. Someone is paying for her housing, her food, her vacations, her clothes and personal care, her car, her savings, everything related to the kids, college funds, retirement funds etc. If you charged her 50% of all expenses for the family - she would have a big bill. Additionally the working parent is also doing things so if you add up paying them for every task they have ever done....the at home parent probably owes money. [/quote]

Well housing and clothing aren’t payment for giving up a career to raise your children, but if you do want to turn marriage into a landlord/employee spreadsheet I’m fine with that too. Because I can guarantee you that at current market values I would not owe DH a damn cent. [/quote]

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