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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Why is it that we are able to mentally accept that someone can be "naturally thin" but not that someone can be naturally chubby.........I'm not talking about overweight to the point it effects your abilities or life.............I'm talking about the people who are still active or workout (I know a lot of marathoners who are like this) but just do not have bodies that are skinny. they carry an extra 10-15 (maybe even 20?) pounds above what they would weigh if they were thin, and nothing shy of a constant strict battle would change that..........for some reason we don't accept this is possible- they MUST be making bad choices or eating too much of the good choices- yet we can accept people who are able to eat and DRINK poorly and stay "thin" with 3 workouts of 30 minutes on the elliptical as somehow their magic bullet?[/quote]

I think most of us accept this.  If this is who you are, good for you!  If you are happy and healthy and comfortable in your skin, that's awesome.  However, if you are 10-20 pounds above being thin, don't try to offer advice in a thread for someone who posts a question asking - and I quote, "What is your secret for staying thin?"  [/quote]

Its me. And I don't accept myself. I hate myself. I started my morning by secretly crying in the shower because the scale says I gained .5 pounds despite being on a strict diet (even over the holidays) and a renewed  dedication to training (not just 'working out' but really mixing it up).

And sometimes I wonder if the reason I hate myself isn't because I am inherently wrong but because everyone has told me I am nothing because I am not pretty/skinny (ie- its impossible for us to accept that this ok) [/quote]

PP, I'm 10:37.  I've been there.  I was there for a very long time in my life.  I wasted a lot of my youth because of these feelings.  I'm sorry.  I dieted so much and tried so hard and nothing worked and I felt awful about myself and was so sad.  There are two parts to this...and I heard this advice and didn't believe so take it for what its worth: Give yourself the love you need now.  Don't reserve it for your "thin" self.  Go buy nice clothes etc...Stop waiting to get to that "acceptable" weight to live your life.  Pretend eating nothing or 1,000,000 calories won't change your weight...then what.  How would you feel if nothing you ever did would change your weight?  Would you hate yourself, or just feel relieved?  I don't know about you, but once I thought this way, I just felt relieved.  And I stopped being so sad and obsessive about my weight.  And I stopped waiting to be thin to love myself and be happy with myself.     Second part...once I stopped being so scared about my weight (I'm still mindful...but there's no way I'm going to do anything that doens't make me happy now!) and let go a little and enjoyed myself, I lost the weight!  [/quote]

Not the PP, but this is great advice.  I wanted to add that I lost weight and realized that even though I was tiny, I still found things to dislike about my body.  And then I realized that being thinner wasn't the answer.  Now I just aim to maintain my weight and look great at this weight.  I think the things that make me look my best are clothes that fit really well and are flattering, regular exercise b/c it improves my mood, and getting enough sleep.  But losing weight?  Doesn't really help.

PP, I hope you will find a way to make friends with your body.    It's probably a great body![/quote]

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